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It's just after midnight, and I can't sleep. I have sixty people arriving for lunch tomorrow, but that's not the scary part, I have ten crayfish in my fridge, all in attack position, staring at me when I open the fridge door.
They've been responsible for more than one scream from me today. They're
the stuff horror movies are made of, and there must be a way to make them more appealing until it's time for them to be consumed.
Introducing Little Lobster Disguises. Little outfits which fit over the lobsters in the fridge making them so much more fun to look at. Options include; Little Rugby Player Lobster, Little Pink Polka Dot Bikini Lobster, Little Lisa Simpson Lobster, Block of Chocolate Lobster, Little Miss Aerobics Lobster complete with legwarmers...etc
[waugs]
http://news.bbc.co....pacific/3005740.stm
They tried to bring it in earlier this year [Helium, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
[link]
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If I only had ten lobsters to feed
sixty people I wouldn't be able to
sleep either. |
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Feed them ham. They'll turn into hamsters. Sorry. |
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Easier solution: set them free and send your guests to MacDonalds. |
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//If I only had ten lobsters // |
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10 lobsters, 150 BBQ sausages, a plethora of paua patties, scores of steak, 200 kilos of potato salad, 19 squilllion peanuts, lettuce salad & pasta salad by the bucket ,85F of sun, 10 frisbees and a cricket set. |
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I want mine dressed as "The Rock" so I can have a Rock lobster. |
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heh. Mine can don some thermals... |
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*throws clothes at lobsters* - "Now I expect these on, and you ready in 10 minutes, I have company coming over!" |
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...Little Cockroach Lobster...Little Spider Lobster...Little Po Lobster... |
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Gaston the Chef Lobster- complete with apron, chef's hat, and curly mustache. |
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phoe, the world is my lobster? |
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I have a better solution. Don't buy lobsters. I can give you a recipe for a really good mexican meal that will make you look better to your guests... and it will be cheaper too ;) Still, croissant for taking a scary situation with some good sense of humor. This made me laugh out loud. |
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Remove refrigerator light bulb? |
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[po] ...and you are it's pearl, dear... |
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//I want mine dressed as "The Rock" so I can have Rock
lobster// |
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To Helium's horror when next the fridge door is opened,
"The Rock", seething from humility suffered in the
presence of his friends, leaps from the shelf and pins
Helium to the kitchen floor using the "Scorpion
Deathlock"... still dressed even in his pink, polka dot
bikini... |
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Hehe. + (Maybe these outfits could be complimentary
with
purchase and the lobsters dressed by clerks at the
fish market?) |
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Well, what did you do, Helium? |
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I am completely knackered this morning. I think I'll take a nap right here on the kitchen floor and let my attack poodle deal with the crustacean. |
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[Pericles] I get mine free from a friend who dives for a living! But I would still love the recipe, as long as it's not so hot that flatulence tax could be an issue! |
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How would a lobster (which resembles a smaller deep space human-eating abomination of nature at the best of times) appear less scary when wearing a Lisa Simpson outfit, legwarmers, or a polka dot bikini? It sounds truly ghastly. |
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Dress them up in a <Hated Organization> uniform, making a mockery of the <H.O.>'s poor human(animal?) rights record, and satisfying your natural urge to kill at the same time! |
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Wow... they tax that in NZ? How do you file? |
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If you put 2 of them in suits, they'd be The Kray Twins (Reggie and Ronnie) and brutally murder the others for you, while extorting protection money from the shrimp. |
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I want my lobster to wear a napolean style hat, pink pantaloons and carry a red cape, that way I can have Lobster Matador. |
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"Hey Enrique, stop taunting the steaks". |
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I would like my lobster to wear a Hawaiian shirt, straw hat, and some bedroom slippers, as I want Lazy Lobster. |
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