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Lobster Disguises

 Or Crayfish to the Downunderers
  (+3)
(+3) 		  [vote for,
against]

It's just after midnight, and I can't sleep. I have sixty people arriving for lunch tomorrow, but that's not the scary part, I have ten crayfish in my fridge, all in attack position, staring at me when I open the fridge door.

They've been responsible for more than one scream from me today. They're the stuff horror movies are made of, and there must be a way to make them more appealing until it's time for them to be consumed.

Introducing Little Lobster Disguises. Little outfits which fit over the lobsters in the fridge making them so much more fun to look at. Options include; Little Rugby Player Lobster, Little Pink Polka Dot Bikini Lobster, Little Lisa Simpson Lobster, Block of Chocolate Lobster, Little Miss Aerobics Lobster complete with legwarmers...etc

—Helium, Nov 29 2003

[waugs] http://news.bbc.co....pacific/3005740.stm
They tried to bring it in earlier this year [Helium, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       If I only had ten lobsters to feed sixty people I wouldn't be able to sleep either.
—hippo, Nov 29 2003
   

       Feed them ham. They'll turn into hamsters. Sorry.
—thumbwax, Nov 29 2003
   

       Easier solution: set them free and send your guests to MacDonalds.
—DrCurry, Nov 29 2003
   

       //If I only had ten lobsters //   

       10 lobsters, 150 BBQ sausages, a plethora of paua patties, scores of steak, 200 kilos of potato salad, 19 squilllion peanuts, lettuce salad & pasta salad by the bucket ,85F of sun, 10 frisbees and a cricket set.
—Helium, Nov 29 2003
   

       good luck and enjoy, He.
—po, Nov 29 2003
   

       I want mine dressed as "The Rock" so I can have a Rock lobster.
—sufc, Nov 29 2003
   

       heh. Mine can don some thermals...
—po, Nov 29 2003
   

       *throws clothes at lobsters* - "Now I expect these on, and you ready in 10 minutes, I have company coming over!"
—Letsbuildafort, Nov 29 2003
   

       ...Little Cockroach Lobster...Little Spider Lobster...Little Po Lobster...
—phoenix, Nov 29 2003
   

       Gaston the Chef Lobster- complete with apron, chef's hat, and curly mustache.
—tchaikovsky, Nov 29 2003
   

       phoe, the world is my lobster?
—po, Nov 29 2003
   

       I have a better solution. Don't buy lobsters. I can give you a recipe for a really good mexican meal that will make you look better to your guests... and it will be cheaper too ;) Still, croissant for taking a scary situation with some good sense of humor. This made me laugh out loud.
—Pericles, Nov 29 2003
   

       Remove refrigerator light bulb?
—hulot, Nov 29 2003
   

       [po] ...and you are it's pearl, dear...
—phoenix, Nov 29 2003
   

       //I want mine dressed as "The Rock" so I can have Rock lobster//   

       To Helium's horror when next the fridge door is opened, "The Rock", seething from humility suffered in the presence of his friends, leaps from the shelf and pins Helium to the kitchen floor using the "Scorpion Deathlock"... still dressed even in his pink, polka dot bikini...   

       Hehe. + (Maybe these outfits could be complimentary with purchase and the lobsters dressed by clerks at the fish market?)
—Tiger Lily, Nov 30 2003
   

       Well, what did you do, Helium?
—thumbwax, Nov 30 2003
   

       I am completely knackered this morning. I think I'll take a nap right here on the kitchen floor and let my attack poodle deal with the crustacean.   

       [Pericles] I get mine free from a friend who dives for a living! But I would still love the recipe, as long as it's not so hot that flatulence tax could be an issue!
—Helium, Nov 30 2003
   

       How would a lobster (which resembles a smaller deep space human-eating abomination of nature at the best of times) appear less scary when wearing a Lisa Simpson outfit, legwarmers, or a polka dot bikini? It sounds truly ghastly.   

       Dress them up in a <Hated Organization> uniform, making a mockery of the <H.O.>'s poor human(animal?) rights record, and satisfying your natural urge to kill at the same time!
—Johnny Mash, Nov 30 2003
   

       // flatulence tax //   

       Wow... they tax that in NZ? How do you file?
—waugsqueke, Nov 30 2003
   

       Discreetly.
—Detly, Nov 30 2003
   

       If you put 2 of them in suits, they'd be The Kray Twins (Reggie and Ronnie) and brutally murder the others for you, while extorting protection money from the shrimp.   

       I want my lobster to wear a napolean style hat, pink pantaloons and carry a red cape, that way I can have Lobster Matador.   

       "Hey Enrique, stop taunting the steaks".
—marklar, Aug 01 2006
   

       I would like my lobster to wear a Hawaiian shirt, straw hat, and some bedroom slippers, as I want Lazy Lobster.
—xandram, Aug 01 2006
   


 

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