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If you have ever noticed, whenever women eat
sandwhiches
with lipstick on, they leave a light layer of it on the
sandwhich, when the first bite is taken.
I propose a plastic device--in the shape of a large set of
lips
with an oval hole cut from between the 'lips,' which fits
over
the
biter's mouth allowing the teeth to close whilst
holding
the lips well clear of the sandwich.
No lip marks, regardless of the kind of bread. Also useful
for keeping butter, jam, etc, off your lips.
Red Reubins
Red_20Reubins
Inspired by [blissmiss]. Alternative idea [Boomershine, Sep 27 2010]
Moustache guard
http://www.theatlan...uard-edition/63484/
[pocmloc, Sep 28 2010]
History of lipstick
http://clearlyexpla...shion/lipstick.html
See the notes on biology. [infidel, Sep 28 2010]
Lip Prosthetic
http://www.inewidea...826.html#more-33826
Not quite what I had in mind, but close. Thanks, [doctorremulac3] [Boomershine, Sep 28 2010]
[link]
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1. wearing lipstick is gross. No exceptions. |
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2. eating sandwiches is common (well, picking the thing up and biting into it. It would be acceptable if a knife and fork were used.) |
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I'll have a wholegrain roll with chicken lips and
cranberry sauce, please. |
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//1. wearing lipstick is gross. No exceptions.// |
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Really? What if the lipstick were *jam*? Ok, then
you could eat the stuff, I know. |
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(*No* exceptions? Shirley all women can't believe it's
gross? Why do we see so much of it then?) |
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Because it's worn to mimic the colour of swollen, red
vulva, in order to make the wearer more desirable. |
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I, for one, have never thought of vulva when looking
at lips. |
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Not even when there's a moustache? |
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{Voice], try coming back tomorrow and honestly saying the same thing. |
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[Bs], are you suggesting that smearing jam round your face for a game during dinner time is anything other than gross? |
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Could also be used to keep coffee cups, wine glasses clean and to make discarded cigarette butts less attributable. Sounds like a must-have fashion accessory! |
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[pocmloc] Well, I don't think so. I actually thought
I read in
the annos of another idea that you and your sister
used to do this very thing. No? |
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Even little girls use lipstick. I'm just trying to
proffer an idea here. If wearing lipstick is gross,
always and forever, well, then it is. |
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But, lots of women wear the stuff--for reasons I
won't even try to guess. If it's gross, it must be
even more gross on a sandwich... |
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I have to admit, [Boomer], I have a lipstick aversion myself; I'm perfectly happy if my bride chooses not to wear it. (Those occasions are few and far between... It is a girl thing.) Needless to say I think your invention is a half-baked marvel for quasi-neurotic sociopaths such as myself. Bun! Does it come in a gift box? [+] |
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Thank you, [Grog]. Gift box? Why, of course, help
yourself. |
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I am neither advocating nor condemning the use of
lipstick by anyone, for any purpose. This device
simply keeps it off one's sandwich. |
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Now that I think about it, it would also keep one's
moustache off someone else's...um, red swollen lips.
[Voice] Think: Vulva. [Everyone Else] Just think. |
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[linkwize] This is well and truly baked for beverages etc, it is usuallyt called a moustache guard and there were a plethora of patents for it around 100 years ago, and some I think were even put into production. |
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Thanks [Bs] for your glowing opinion of my character but in actual fact not everything that I have ever done is flawless and beautiful. |
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I thought moustache guards were to keep liquids off
one's moustache, not lipstick off sandwiches. I've
seen moustache cups which do this. |
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My idea keeps both lips off the sandwich. It
is not well-suited to drinking. |
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//Not even when there's a moustache?// |
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I almost fell out of my chair laughing. |
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Wasn't this done in one of the Batman movies? (It was in the one with the homoerotic undertones.) Poison Ivy kisses Robin, and instead of succumbing to her poison lipstick, he turns out to have been wearing plastic lips. |
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(I want a sandwich guard that forces a five-year-old to take a bite from the corner of the sandwich instead of eating his way in from the widest side and getting peanut butter in his ears.) |
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[link] (not related to your anno, [BB]) |
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//(I want a sandwich guard that forces a five-year-old
to take a bite from the corner of the sandwich
instead of eating his way in from the widest side and
getting peanut butter in his ears.)// |
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Quite simple, [BB]. Make my lip(stick) shield more
funnel shaped; i.e., wider towards the front, opening
away from the mouth. A sandwich will only fit in
one pointy part at a time. |
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And then what when you have nibbled off all the points? Eh? |
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Well, you cram the rest in your mouth. Still no
peanut butter in the ears. |
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// peanut butter in the ears // |
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But that's a big part of the fun ... allegedly. |
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[BB]//But that's a big part of the fun.// |
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