h a l f b a k e r yA dish best served not.
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For aquatics complexes, this goes alongside the waterslide pools and artificial wave pools: a deep, dimly lit pool with craggy rock sides, wisps of mist drifting across the surface, and glowing serpents squirming near the bottom. The "snakes" are translucent plastic tubes, quite tough and flexible, with
slightly helical shapes, running from one side of the pool to the other. They squirm because a pair of jacuzzi pumps send water through them and the helical shape introduces flow instabilities, and they glow because the water running through them is doped with a harmless fluorescent chemical and there are black lights on the bottom of the pool. The plastic tubes must be kept reasonably taut to avoid the possibility of tangling around a swimmer's ankle. The drifting mist comes from a small fog generator under the pool deck. The lifeguard should be a hefty, hairy, well-aged woman with long nails and savage maternal feelings.
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That rules out Muriatic Acid. |
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..and showers of glowing cinders. |
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When I saw the idea name, I said "How on earth could a
Lake of Firesnakes Pool be *fun*?!" Now I see. |
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There should also be bubbles coming up from the bottom,
both for visual effect and to tingle swimmers' legs to give
them the heebie jeebies. |
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This is a cool idea, and I voted for it, but think about this: do we really want to find out what passes for swimwear for the Goth kids? |
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Every now and then an idea comes up that is just completely perfect. Bravo, Dog Ed, bravo. |
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Mephista: Sure you can lifeguard--may have to add some stage hair to get you properly hirsute for Grendel's Mum, though... |
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soterios: how would the make up stay on? |
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But why stop at snakes? Surely the opportunity to wrestle underwater with a lifelike rubberised crocodile a la Johhny Weismuller would be too good to miss?
I can see a whole waterpark on the theme - Snake Pools, Tarzan's Pool, The Flipper Pool, the Free Willy Orca Acrobatics Fantasy Funland....
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You could always use some of my eurohosiery to simulate hairy legs. I won't link it as this is sacred ground around the pool |
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*grin* Water parks could suddenly become so much cooler. I want one of these. |
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Slight adaptation: Has anybody seen the water parks with the slow, meandering "stream" always crowded with inner tubes? Take out the inner tubes and turn it into the idea above. Snake River, anybody? |
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I could see how to add to this experience: Amusement Park employees could hide in the foliage and wait for the customers to become acclimated to the spooky snakes. Then they could leap out wearing Tropical shamen masks, yelling "ooogah boogah" tossing gobs of artificial blood and fake body organs on them. Then a large animatronic dinosaur could appear from the bushes and urinate a stream of warm water onto the heads of the customers. That would be awesome! |
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That's NOT A FIRESNAKE!!! |
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//gobs of artificial blood and fake body organs //
Do you really wanna be swimming in that? |
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This would freak me right out, but I'm not much of a
firesnake pool-swimmer on the best of days. + |
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+ good idea, great last sentence... |
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Sounds like a pool with electric eels and some electroluminescent panels. |
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