Ku Klux KlansMan

As far as the World is concerned, he's a mild-mannered Harvard-educated bespectacled Civil Rights lawyer, a Democrat, a member of the ACLU, a loving husband and father (but he has many Gay and Lesbian friends), a champion of Environmentalism, and an all-round wuss.

But, for the observant, there are clues, albeit small ones; he tends to wear high collared shirts, to hide his red neck; while he is normally seen driving a Toyota Prius, he also has a battered Ford pickup hidden in a barn deep in the woods - where he also keeps his vast collection of weapons and explosives, his NRA membership card, and his sisal-wrapped steel cross. There's just a hint, no more, of a Southern drawl in is clipped New England tones, and occasionally he forgets himself enough to partake of hominy grits, although most people just put this down to being polite.

But he is a man with a mission, ready to leap into action whenever pointless prejudice, xenophobia and small-minded bigotry are threatened. Should he hear the call of the General Lee's horn sounding "I wish I was in Dixie", quick as a flash he dives into a dimly lit Bar with the Stars And Bars up on the wall and emerges again clad in his dazzling white bedsheet and pointy hood, ready to battle against the evil forces of equality and liberalism. Driving his beaten up pickup, with his Remington pump-action 12-gauge in one hand and a bottle of Jack Daniels in the other, he rushes to the aid of any citizen in need, as long as they're white, US citizens, a Republican voter, a gun owner, have half a dozen huge slavering dogs, are heavily armed and equally heavily intoxicated.

If you've been foolish enough to venture North of the Manson-Nixon line, and found it all a bit too much, what with the electric light and the big-metal-bird-go up-in sky and all, don't hesitate - call for Ku Klux KlansMan !