Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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It might be better to just get another gerbil.

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Kitty-Kat Nighttime Playmate

because I don't need my toes checked at 1:00 am
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Ana Kat (11 weeks old) has a new game.

It seems that she no longer needs to sleep at night (having slept for most of the day) and so she is *available* to attack me everytime I move in my sleep. My toes seem to be her favorite target although she is also interested in my nose, my hair, my ears, and my hands.

Well, Ana Kat, I have an idea to put an end to your torture of daddy so he can get a night of uninterrupted sleep.

What I need is an appliance of sorts that goes under a blanket and is about 5 feet long. I would put it in the guest room and lock (gasp!) Ana out of my room until she outgrows this stage. The appliance would be set to randomly move toelike appendages, wiggle earlike additions, moan quietly, and roll over several times during the night. Ana Kat could torment it to her heart's content and I would get some sleep.

The "super" model would also vibrate and simulate purring, have a catnip scent, and a microchip on which the owner could record, in their own voice, such words of endearment as "you're a good kitty-kat", "daddy loves his little baby girl", and "Ouch! that was my eye you just scratched out!"

runforrestrun, Jun 10 2002

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       Ever have a cat crawl up on your chest, purr, pat-a-pat and drool on your face all night long?
You ain't seen nothin' Chester.
phoenix, Jun 11 2002
  

       I think your cat's offspring lived with me for a while UB, and people say dog farts are bad! I also had a cat that like to claw certain unmentables in the middle of the night, lets just say he learned to fly THAT night! Wife 'bout had a heartattack when I started yelling.   

       Didn't someone post an idea about an automatic laser toy for cats once? I couldn't find it by searching, maybe it was deleted by someone leaving the bakery semi-permentally
barnzenen, Jun 11 2002
  

       No, Steve, we're talking about Felis Lunar Annoyingus
runforrestrun, Jun 11 2002
  

       //What I need is an appliance of sorts that goes under a blanket and is about 5 feet long.//
Well, I don't mean to brag...
thumbwax, Jun 11 2002
  

       What, you've got an inflatable Inga?   

       After peeing on the bed twice, my cat stays in his own room at night or at least until 4am.   

       I was once having a back massage on a table where you rest your face in an oval opening. Halfway through I opened my eyes in time to see the resident cat taking a bare-clawed swing at my nose.
FarmerJohn, Jun 11 2002
  

       I need one for Dempsey.
angel, Jun 11 2002
  

       Best solution for a bored kitty is to get another one. If that doesn't work, then get one more. If there's still trouble, well, you see where this is going. I've always felt that cats are best enjoyed in quantity, though (like potato chips).
quarterbaker, Jun 11 2002
  

       qb, obviously UB has three....and I also have three cats. My two older ones ignore the kitten and sleep through the night peacefully (although my ancient cat has been known to headbutt me if he wants attention at 3 am).   

       If you are suggesting that I get another kitten, yeah, then I'll have two little creatures attacking me in the night. ;-)
runforrestrun, Jun 11 2002
  

       //...out of my room until she outgrows this stage.//   

       They outgrow this stage? Anya has learned that there is no need to wait until I move my toes to attack them, if she attacks them, I *will* move them.
mighty_cheese, Jun 11 2002
  

       Dempsey (and brother Gomez) is 4, although she still thinks she's a kitten. Even Spangles (who will, I hope, turn 18 in August) occasionally needs this device.
angel, Jun 11 2002
  

       wow, angel, you are the first person I've known with a cat older than mine...my ancient cat will turn 16 on the 18th of July.   

       bliss, maybe you should *rent* yourself out to entertain kitties at night ;-)   

       m_cheese, I'm *hoping* she outgrows this, maybe it's just wishful thinking....
runforrestrun, Jun 11 2002
  

       we had a royal that got into trouble over this sort of thing! never forgiven - poor old fergie.
po, Jun 11 2002
  

       what? fergie *rented* herself out to entertain kitties at night???   

       Really?   

       Maybe she should have rented her elf....
runforrestrun, Jun 11 2002
  

       no, she had a thing about toes for a while!
po, Jun 11 2002
  

       ah, yes, the royal toe sucker.... I remember the photos <grin>
runforrestrun, Jun 11 2002
  
      
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