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I was looking at my prayer group gathered in a circle today, (online services can be boring as you know, and a breeding ground for naps,) and suddenly the most miraculous vision came to me and I am here to share it with you, my fellow sheep, or lambs, or parishioners or you know, whatever...
WAKE
UP. WAKE THE HELL UP. THAT'S RIGHT, WAKE UP!!!
A unique and once-in-a-lifetime occurrence happened. I innocently took a photo of the circle during the Dharma talk today, to send to my husband because I was well...kinda bored.
Looking back what I saw was shocking. Somehow it had transformed the entire circle to look like they were sitting on a trampoline and not the floor. Soooooo
I, as a devoted halfbaker, received the sign from the being above, the Sacred Creator of the mystical world of space and time and air to turn it into a giant "TRAMPOLINE CHURCH".
The Leader, no matter what sort of Leader they are, Guru, Pastor, Rabi, etc., would share the sacred messages, as they lightly bounce in the middle of the trampoline with just enough spring to keep you barely moving at all but enough stimulation to keep you closely engaged.
But watch out, if you begin to nod off, or stare into space, well yeah, the Leader will jump really high and talk really loud and look directly at the guilty one, and in response, the sleepy believer will laugh and become enlightened with more than enough energy and motivation to stay awake. Yay. I mean "praise God", something along that line.
Of course, there might be accidental bumping into one another, literally, but that will only make it more personal, and intense. You will leave having made actual physical contact with your fellow believers.
So let's get this message from GodBudhaShivaAbraham...etc, etc, etc, out to the masses, so that church will be a delight to attend again, instead of a stupid weekly fashion show or a place to catch some really chill shut-eye
Wheelie Tramp Baked!
https://hally-gally...heelchair-user.html
so definitely available as Jump4Joy mod [Sgt Teacup, Aug 08 2022]
http://www.inflatablechurch.com/
[pocmloc, Aug 10 2022]
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Trampoline Worship spin-off products include:
1. ActiveChurchWear, a hybrid cross of SCUBA wetsuit, Burkini, LaLaLimey cycle shorts or tights, and flowing robes 2. closeable water bottles that cyclists use, but for Communion wine, 3. Holy Helmets (for safety reasons) |
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I know you might be teasing a bit but I think you might have something here blissy. [+] |
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Up next: trampoline orgies |
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Seriously, the more I thought about it, the more I loved it. I like the idea of a giant trampoline for a lot of things. (Orgie was not on my list, however.) |
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Flying Spaghetti Monster isn't going to like this. |
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FSM's holy brother, the Bouncing Meatball Monster. |
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Don't mention the low-carb vegan monster! |
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+ but should it begin with tramp? |
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So do the Charismatic Pentacostal denominational splits look like a mosh pit? |
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I am a 100% non-believer in any, and all religions but be that as it may, all ideas exist on their own merits, so I approve. My only caveat is provision for wheelchair users and the semi-limbed. |
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It's main message is that, no matter how bad things are at the moment, you'll bounce back. |
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Bouncy castles, on the other hand, have a tendency to take off in the wind and expedite the Rapture. |
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[a1], When I finished laughing it hit me that I have never been in that type of yoga class yet and that I should, for sure. |
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"Tramp Service" Sunday at 10am. Hmmm xandram, it's catchy, really catchy. Perhaps a little too catchy. |
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Yes, RayfordSteele, if that is your thing. |
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xenie, my bad. You are right but Sgt.Teacup has fixed that for us. |
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4and20, you are on to something big. Certain churches could have Holy Bouncy Castles in place of regular tramps. |
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However, there would be a hole in the ceiling in which if a person of that faith was evolved enough and was ready for eternal bliss, they could just bounce really hard and go missing out the top. Everyone would be really ecstatic about the rising of the devoted hmm, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Pagan, etc, etc, etc, member. |
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There should be some story about the person who went through the hole. Would have to supposedly occur in the late 70's. |
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Toss up hole in Church Steeple |
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"Trampoline orgies." Guaranteed to break the ice at parties! |
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Break more than ice. Ouch. |
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