h a l f b a k e r yReplace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...
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Jowl Relaxant
Especially for those awful side effects of teen stress. | |
Grind your teeth until your gums
bleed? Get headaches from
repeatedly clenching your jaw? Many
a teen has suffered such a problem,
likely caused by emotional stress,
peer pressure and/or a heavy
homework load.
Jowl Relaxant can make your day a
more pleasing one. With the fast-
activeness
of cars smashing a face,
your entire jaw will be numb for
hours. No more clenching, no more
grinding, no more chewing, no more
talking, no more smiling and no
more giving oral sex.
You're social status will sky-rocket as
all of your peers realize your true
slick wit and linguistic ability. No
friend will turn away your dehiscent,
yawing maw. No woman will escape
your glowering open-mouthed grin/
gape. No store owner will resist
hiring your droolingly dashing
countenance.
Jowl Relaxant would be available
over-the-counter.
Targeted Medicine
http://www.usnews.c.../030120/20drugs.htm
Although it doesn't exactly exist now, at least it's not unthinkable. [Mags, Oct 21 2004]
[link]
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Are you thinking as a topical ointment, or pill? |
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Teens have already found a natural herbal remedy for this problem. Unfortunately, it's not exactly legal in most of the world. |
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I'm thinking your social status as a drooling, word-slurring outcast might not be as rosy as you predict. |
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Also comes in larger doses for parents of teens. |
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Jowl Relaxant would most likely be
a pill or other consumable dosage
form and, unlike marijuana, would
not impair your driving skills,
perception, or destroy brains. |
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Anyone that outcasts you for
having a loose jaw is a terribly
shallow person. |
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How exactly would you create a muscle relaxant pill that would specifically target your jaw? Sounds quite WIBNI to me. |
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Mags, I think this must be baked,
because all of the would-be
suitors caterwauling and crawling
on the front stoop look just like
that.
I just tell them my
daughters are forbidden to have
sex with cretins and they slink
away.
But if you'd like, I can
ask them next time
what drugs they're taking. |
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[Mags]: The link you provided talks about targeted medicine based upon some unique chemistry of the targeted cells. Unless there is something special about jaw muscles, I still don't see how a pill is going to target them. |
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Marijuana? I thought you were talking about masturbation, [CP]. |
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Why is this targeted at teens? I grind my teeth like crazy in my sleep, according to my dentist, and I'm nowhere near teenage. |
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<ob>you sleep with your dentist?</ob> |
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Holy crap, you're annoying. But thankfully, easily ignored. |
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I did not mean to start an
argument, I understand that
medicines like this don't exists-
But, it can't be that far off. |
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I'm very sorry I did not explain
everything about my speculative
product, Cedar Park, I will try to
cover every viewpoint in the
future. |
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[snarf]: Since when was masturbation herbal? Why am I always the last person to learn about these things ?!?! |
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[Mags]: I don't want you to think that I'm requiring you to think of _every_ possible angle. The idea, however, should hold up to scrutiny by someone who has no medical training. |
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I liked it so much that I've set up a small lab in my basement to trying to create a similar product. Maybe one day I'll be successful and manage to get rich off an idea that I had simply gazed upon on the HalfBakery. |
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Howzabout *Long Island Lockjaw*? (named for the way it's speakers keep their teeth together when they speak) - Kinda like Thurston Howell III |
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