h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Hows this - Simple old plain Jacob's Ladder, but for connectivity at the top of each of the prongy bits you simply attach the lobster via its only claws, providing it hangs on tight enough, give it a small blast..
vrrrrt..vrrrtt.. cooked..crack open, small amount of tartare...yummy.
Caution:
Larger lobster recommended, and safety switch recommended..
Jacob's Ladder
http://www.repairfaq.org/sam/jacobs.htm
[Supercruiser]'s link. [suctionpad, Oct 17 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Underrated film
http://www.allmovie...ll?p=avg&sql=A25743
[thumbwax, Oct 17 2004]
Thor's Hammer
Thor_27s_20Hammer
Possibly relevant idea [csea, Jul 22 2011]
Torrymeter
http://www.google.com/search?q=torrymeter
Freshness measurement of fish based on resistance [csea, Jul 22 2011]
Ohmic heating of seafood
http://www.google.c...d&btnG=Search+Books
Several books available on the subject [csea, Jul 22 2011]
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this is the second cruelty to lobsters idea i've read within a few days. i'm allergic to seafood but lobsters certainly seem to inspire sort of violent reactions... |
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What is a simple old plain jacob's ladder? For me it is either a flowering plant or a childs toy. Please provide a link to the kind that you mean. |
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what is it with lobsters and halfbakery lately? |
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Hmmm...which is more cruel, electrocution or being boiled alive? |
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YES! ... I'm sure PETA might have have something to say, but HEY! ... its POPCORN LOBSTER! [+] |
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The Lobster, being electrocuted, will die immediately. But what needs to happen is that the sudden shock also needs to blow the shell off as well, BANG!!! WHOOSH!! shell flys off, on yer plate, YUMMY!!! |
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I don't think you're going to get a Jacob's Ladder effect with both claws attached. I predict over-cooked claws and raw tail (the best part). |
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I'm not sure it's possible to cook something using the resistive properties of the item being cooked. |
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Perhaps different foods are more suitable for this method than others. I have seen a gherkin illuminated like a light bulb under a few '000 volts, but the heat produced at the contact points is always a great deal higher than that experienced inside (and who wants a warm gherkin anyway?) - likewise there are those people who get struck by lightning and have terrible burns at the entry and exit points of the charge, but appear otherwise unharmed. |
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As a rule, charge should follow lines of least resistance, meaning that salty fluids within the item being cooked would provide conduits for the charge, allowing for the heating of some areas at the expense of others. |
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Overall, [-] a cruel method of producing nothing more than an angry lobster (he's going to let go of the contacts, and go looking for revenge) and a distinct smell of ozone. |
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Wouldn't this work if the lobster was not touching the contacts? I thought the point of a Jacob's ladder was that the charge arcs between the electodes. In that case, if the lobster was placed vertically it would cook from bottom to top. Placing it tail upwards would be more humane. |
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I guess, but you'd have to hold the lobster between the contacts - which is fine, but then there's the question of the properties of the lobstar's carapace, and whether it would conduct the electricity around the lobster's live-providing organs or not. |
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//I have seen a gherkin illuminated like a light bulb under a few '000 volts// |
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lobsters are sorta cute. i like them. if my 55 gal. could handle freezing temperatures, i'd have a few. |
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It might work better if we used butter to improve the electrical connections. |
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//around the lobster's live-providing //
As opposed to its neutral-providing organs? |
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//As opposed to its neutral-providing organs// |
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Well, nerves are electrical, so there must be a circuit in there somewhere... |
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If you really wanted to do this then probably a small electric chair might do the trick.. |
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// I'm not sure it's possible to cook something using
the resistive properties of the item being cooked. // |
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It's possible, given a certain value of 'cooked.' Just look at
any crow that put a foot wrong while messing around in a
transformer station. The question for me is whether or not
I'd have any desire to eat such cuisine. |
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Oh, and as for the cruelty-to-lobsters issue, let me just
say that there is no such thing, but if you feel bad about
boiling them (the wrong way to cook a lobster) or steaming
them (the right way to cook a lobster) or electrocuting
them (a really f#€ked-up way to cook a lobster) to death,
you can always drive a chef's knife through the dorsal seam
above and just behind the 'eyes.' It kills them instantly. |
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As a native of Maine, I am automatically an authority on
such things. I will now accept your applause. |
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(sound of one norm clapping) |
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It is possible to cook food this way. In college I cooked hot dogs in my dorm room using two metal forks and a power cord. Cut the socket end of an extension cord off, split the two cords apart about a foot, and strip the insulation back a few inches. Attach a fork to each wire and stick the forks into opposite end of the hot dog. Hold the cord just above the split and letting the hot dog hang in mid air. plug the cord in for 60 to 70 seconds. |
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We would cook up a bunch take the cooker apart and then go eat the hot hotdogs in front of the RA. He would go Ape S__t looking for the illegal cooker but could never find one, he never did figure it out. I'm fairly sure it wouldn't work well with lobster. |
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When I get back on my feet, I'll go down to my shop and
try it with one of my welding machines, then report back
here. |
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I'll wait until lobsters go on sale, though. No way I'm paying
$16 for a 1 3/4 hardshell.... |
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There's been a lot of talk about EMP weapons, and
their ability to disrupt electronic equipment. I think
they should be further developed to the point
where they can induce a sufficiently large current
pulse in food to cook it. Tactical cookery sort of
thing. |
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//try it with one of my welding machines// |
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I'm guessing that your welder puts out huge amounts
of current, at fairly low voltage, sort of the opposite
of what are needed to cook meat. See [link]. |
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My biggest machine can crank out around 36v, though I've never run it that high. You are correct, though; arc welding is a high-amperage, low-voltage process. Enlightening link, but I really meant it as a joke. |
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Still, 900 amps will do a lot of cooking. I know from past experience that it will cook a 550-rated lead coupling to a crisp. |
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// lobsters are sorta cute. i like them. if my 55 gal. could handle freezing temperatures, i'd have a few // |
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Go ahead and get some, then; lobsters love the temperate summertime waters of the New England coast. The tank in the seafood store is kept so cold is to keep them from fighting. I'd think a lobster would be a pretty easy pet, considering they don't move around much and eat garbage. Just be careful cleaning the tank. |
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I think electrical zapping could easily be as humane
as
thermal boiling. |
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I looked around and tried to find information on
the
electrical resistivity of shellfish to no avail.
However,
turned up an interesting device called the
"Torrymeter" which measures resistivity /
conductivity of fish as a measure of freshness.
[link]
Unfortunately no clue as to actual ohmic
resistance. |
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Another link turned up some evidence that this
may be common practice... [link] |
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I gave it a plus for the name. Then read the idea. I'm
against cruelty, and anyways lobsters aren't kosher,
so I wouldn't eat them. |
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But the Jacob's lobster ladder is still a funny notion. |
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