h a l f b a k e r yIt might be better to just get another gerbil.
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Do you really want to be smart, that will take a lot of hard work. How about just look very smart in front other people? It is just as good, right?
With high speed wireless internet, voice recognition program, a AI search engine, you can be a genius for a low monthly fee.
Here is how is work,
you wear inconceivable small computer on you with microphone and retinal projection display. The microphone will listen to people's word around you, pick buzz word and guess what they are talking about and search internet to display information. By cleverly work in the word in your conversation, you can ask the computer to display interesting information you don't want to remember. "Have you read DR. STANELY's paper on NEW ENGLAND's Journal?" "NEW ENGLAND's JOURNAL, STANELY, just this morning, interesting one." while you try to stall, you are reading the headline of the paper on the display. "Of course, the new treatement of breast cancer, I know quiet a bit about DR. STANELY, you know I recommend the patient JANE to him and I suggest the idea to him since I know he was doing the research and JANE was the ideal candidate of the treatement, you can say he own half of his success to me, HAHA"
RealThought Media v. 6.2
http://www.halfbake...edia_20v_2e_206_2e2
Very similar idea... [RayfordSteele, Jun 19 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]
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And you'll be the first customer, right? =) |
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It might screw up and have you blabbing on about STANLEY finding DR. Livingston via Tarzan and JANE. |
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I think that cure for beast cancer is the real breakthrough here. I do not want any of my beasts dying of cancer if at all possible. |
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Of course the problem with using the internet for information is that half the time you'll be either full of shit or obsessed with sex. |
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// Of course the problem with using the internet for information is that half the time you'll be either full of shit or obsessed with sex. // |
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Nothing new there, but at least i'd be better informed. |
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alx:
people were either full of shit or obsessed with sex (or both) WAY before the internet was thought up. he he :o) |
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Despite the apparatus, you will sabotage the illusion of intelligence if you say "I know quiet a bit! He own half of his success to me!" and the rest of the babelfish-looking example above. |
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as for the full of shit/obbsesed with sex thing no one would notice the difference with me |
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//Increase your apparent IQ //
Duhhh, this sounds great! Where do I pay? |
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HB ruins your theory. You think you got smarter by
searching and reading all kinds of online facts and
research. You put it all together on the Half, and
then get attacked by a flock of killer fish who bake
you to the bones. |
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(Annotate this take from bing search and google
translate. So you can say he owe half of bone to
JANE. HAHA) |
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The other option, of course is too kill a few really clever people. As IQ is set so the overall average is 100, removing the top will also move the average, so your measure will go up. |
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I'm enough of a know-it-all already, thank you very much. I
don't need some fancy electronic gizmo to help me be
even more obnoxious. |
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