Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
If you need to ask, you can't afford it.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

user:
pass:
register,


               

Hands-free Autoproctoscope

A necessity
  (+1)
(+1)
  [vote for,
against]

In a development of the technology pioneered by the BorgCo Autorhiniscope <link>, this wonderful new product uses virtual reality and cleverly-designed optics (including an integral illumination system).

The wearer is presented with a clear, unmistakeable 3D colour image of their own buttocks, but due to the design they need not touch the equipment at all - it responds to voice commands.

Specially manufactured to assist those involved in negotiating the Brexit settlement, as they clearly can't find their own arses* with both hands.

*Those who have attended public schools may have less difficulty when the task involves a second party.

8th of 7, Dec 29 2018

Autorhinoscope Autorhinoscope
Blatant elf-promotion [8th of 7, Dec 29 2018]

Please log in.
If you're not logged in, you can see what this page looks like, but you will not be able to add anything.
Short name, e.g., Bob's Coffee
Destination URL. E.g., https://www.coffee.com/
Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)






       There could be a TV audience version of the same procedure..... Like ITV's dreadful Bullseye programme from the 70s - "Bernie - The Bolt"
xenzag, Dec 29 2018
  

       I can only assume that rations in the Cube lack fibre.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 29 2018
  

       Thankfully, we have no requirement for such a device.
8th of 7, Dec 30 2018
  

       Alternatively, remove buttocks surgically & graft to chest.   

       Once they have a clear & unobstructed view of their own buttocks the task of finding it with both hands should then be far less taxing of their limited intellects.   

       A certain amount of re-plumbing will be required of course.   

       And parliaments loos will need a redesign.
Skewed, Dec 30 2018
  

       // graft to chest //   

       The face, shirley ? Augment their cheeks with ... bigger cheeks !   

       The placement will be perfect, as they already talk out of their arses ...
8th of 7, Dec 30 2018
  

       // Autoproctoscope //   

       spelling: Glutealoscope   

       I suppose it incorporates a suction cup to mount to various surfaces?
wjt, Dec 31 2018
  


 

back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle