h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
A simple piece of software which has an internal clock and calculates exactly how long it has been since you last logged on to the Halfbakery. If this is longer than the time stated in your Program preferences, every time you turn on your computer a large booming voice (Preferably something along
the Vocal lines of Billy Connolly) begins to chastise your incompetence. "You useless Bastage T_E_A, the last time you logged on Custard hadn't been invented" "Call yourself a Halfbaker? I bet you Dont even Know what Godopoly is do you?"
It probably would be useful to no-one else except me, unless of course, you happen to like the idea of Billy Connolly cursing your name whenever you are away from the Bakery for xxx amount of time.....
edit : with a sliding volume scale for the longer you are away
Hope you are all well anyways
T_E_A_
[link]
|
| |
A fluffy pastry for you - You useless Bastage T_E_A |
|
| |
Oh oh, you mentioned Godopoly. I'll have to give you a croissant for that. |
|
| |
"Are you never off this thing?!" to
"Do I know you" or
"I never see you, you haven't called... and you expect a welcome when you come through my door?"
For occassional bakers: "Uh huh, you wouldn't normally have this kind of relationship..." |
|
| |
I'll give a croissant here, but I'm worried that H'bakery will start giving me a hard time in the future... |
|
| |
"Not you again. When are you going to stop annotating with stupid wisecracks and come up with some REAL ideas" |
|
| |
Great, now my computer will make me feel guilty, too. Just what I need. What the heck, halve a warm flaky one on my tab. |
|
| |
Lets make it start off with gentle reminders, hints of the delectable pastries we love so much. Give it the Kathleen Turner/Jessica Rabbit voice for us bakers and , I don't know, maybe a Ricardo Montalban or Antonio Banderas Latino-type voice for the bakerettes (Is that sexist? Sorry!). Then after a reasonable delay the voice slowly morphs into either my ex-mother-in-law or Darth Vader (the same person? - I still don't know) and makes us feel like a boned fish. |
|
| |
Definitely Antonio Banderas! |
|
| |
I like 'bakerettes' [Canuck] it sounds cute. |
|
| |
I'd much prefer a Jessica Rabbit voice to a Kathleen Turner voice. |
|
| |
consider yourself remonstrated with. |
|
| |
As far as I know, I'm continually logged on. I never have to re-log in, except when I get a new computer and have to regenerate all my cookies/temp pages. |
|
| |
Your idea in a pubescent stage. |
|
| |