h a l f b a k e r yThis is what happens when one confuses "random" with "profound."
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Having recently had the text of the halfbakery fed into the innards of a military supercomputer, I have uncovered the following scientific formula for "ideas".
First up, compile a list of random Places, People, Scientific Effects and Events - a list of "Notables", or x.
For example, the x list
might look something like:
Richard Nixon
Paris
Bolton
Schrödinger
Ham
Humpty Dumpty
Recession
Easter Island
Geoffrey Boycott
Geoffrey Chaucer
Waterloo
Next, generate a list of household objects, kitchen utensils, appliances etc. A list of "Objects", or y
e.g.
Spoon
Vacuum Cleaner
Fridge
Spade
Egg Whisk
Gypsy
Knife Drawer
Dog
Crowbar
Washing machine
Ham
Kangaroo
Weasel
An (optional) list of feelings, senses, thoughts etc - the "Sensorium", or z list.
Doom
Annoyance
Pain
Silver
Destiny
Lies
Truth
Brightness
Twisting
Ham
Fear
Joy
Brilliance
For advanced users, a secondary (optional) list of unnecessary attachments, capabilities or attributes - the "Flair" or q list.
Tasselled
Weasel engulfing
Bleeding
Bearded
Ham
Bee Releasing
Underwater
(a secondary q list can be compiled using a structure that allows the placement at the end of a description)
with Tassels
that Releases Bees
with Beards
that bleeds
Ham
that engulfs Weasels
that's Underwater
Having generated your lists, randomly pick an item from each list and slot into one of the following syntecees:
(q1) + x + y (of z) + (q2)
or
(q1) + (x) + z + y + (q2)
or if you prefer, the less algebraic:
(Flair|Flairing) Notable Object of Sensorium (with Flair|that Flairs)
or
(Flair|Flairing) (Notable) Sensorium Object (with Flair|that Flairs)
Where () indicates an optional component.
For example:
Tasselled Richard Nixon Fridge of Lies
Bleeding Easter Island Spoon of Destiny, that Releases Bees
Dog Ham
Geoffrey Chaucer's Spade of Brilliance
Schrödinger's Vacuum Cleaner
Geoffrey Boycott's Spoon of Doom
Underwater Gypsy Twisting with Beards
Finally, make up some bollocks that provides (or distracts and confuses the reader to such an extent that they no longer require, understand, or even care for) an explanation - and you're away! Instant croissant heaven.
Quasibaked: halfbakery by concatenation
http://www.iq0.com/hbconcat.html
[calum, Dec 04 2008]
this set me off looking for this one.
Idea_20Dough_20Garage_20Swap
[po, Dec 04 2008]
Succesful ideas authored using this approach - 1
Risk-taking_20estat...agents_20(of_20God)
[hippo, Dec 04 2008]
Succesful ideas authored using this approach - 2
Automatic_20Blow-Ou...e_20of_20Excitement
[hippo, Dec 04 2008]
The Framley Examiner
http://www.framleyexaminer.com/
It's news, Jim, but not as we know it..... [8th of 7, Dec 05 2008]
[link]
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Grind halfbakery and pour rant on it. |
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As an addendum to your research I would also propose that an optional 'colloquial' factor be relevant. |
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Mentions of custard, pirates, ninjas, Internet memes, and other such Zeitgeist in an idea tend to gather attention and votes (either positive or negative) with an exponential decay over time and inversely proportional with respect to its originality (78th custard idea is V= CF/78th likely to get a vote- CF = CroissantFish variable). |
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I feel strangely attracted to 'Geoffrey Boycott's Spoon of Doom'. Tell me more. I must know! |
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it's people like you zen_tom that give the bakery a bad name. |
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Hmmm - the "Recession Fridge of Truth" actually sounds quite plausible... |
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[jb] you're not wrong - general Zeitgeistiness could be rolled into the "Notables" list (tangentially, there was a news item in today's paper about a chap who found a binbag filled with approximately £10,000 in ripped up notes - the government said that he could keep it, but it's up to him to jigsaw it all back together again if he wants to spend it - I immediately thought that would make a good problem to put before the 'bakery) |
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Snap (nonsensical formula) response for [DrBob]
Geoffrey Boycott's Spoon of Doom
Grind leather and pour willow on it. |
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A large cricket-shaped spoon with which you can threaten your wife.
Contains Dog Ham. |
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Just to set the record straight - on the one hand, I'm sure I'm not innocent of the crime of formularisation myself - and on the other, an idea that apparently follows the formula isn't necessarily formulaic - I just wanted to raise the concept of the "formulaic idea" into the 'bakery consciousness - and see what we thought about it - after all, sometimes it can be fun. |
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I think the irksomeness that you're experiencing is due to the "ideas
for ideas' sake" phenomenon, wherein 'bakers, infused with a
genuine and commendable enthusiasm for all things 'baking, tend to
submit endless droves of tenuous, uninventive drivel, which they
believe - having identified obvious trends (usually successful ones) -
will receive widespread praise. |
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'Bakers new and old are guilty of this; it's the over-eagerness that is
the cause, after all. But it still remains frustrating when confronted
with so many "ideas" that fit this tired old formula, especially when
you come to the bakery to be enthused, enlightened, educated and
entertained. Alliteration overload there, but they all convey what I
come to the 'bakery for. |
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Doesn't calum live in Dogham? |
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This idea is genius. *pause to connote meaning* And helpful. |
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... or indeed the Framley Examiner..... <link> |
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//they all convey what I come to the 'bakery for// |
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You came here *for* something? I feel like I walked into the wrong pub at seven o'clock, now it's midnight and I know all the regulars. |
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What am I, the designated driver? |
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One thing about the formula that concerns me is the randomness.
What's required is for the computer to identify similarities between
the subjects in the lists in their shape, movement, application,
whatever, and then combine them to hilarious effect. This renders
the function: |
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If x = y (by k) then xy = h |
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where k = a factor like shape/use/action and h = hilarity. So |
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The algorithm observed x is similar to y in k, so x+y = h |
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Observation: A pneumatic drill moves back and forth like a
woodpecker’s head.
Idea: Make a pneumatic drill in the shape of a woodpecker’s head.
Funny. |
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Observation: The catcher in baseball (wicket keeper equivalent)
where’s a ribbed bodyarmour that looks a bit like the keys of a
xylophone.
Idea: Make baseball catcher’s bodyarmour also work as a
xylophone. Rib-tickling. |
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Observation: The cork firing from a champagne bottle is a similar
action to a human cannonball performing his trick.
Idea: Make champagne corks look like human cannonballs and
paint champagne bottles like circus cannons. Droll. |
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With more information to draw from, the computer can link particular
objects to others, like: |
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Observation: Gas domes look a bit like breasts.
Idea: Add nipple tassles to gas domes. Titular! |
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Where "nipple tassles" is the added information that the computer
draws from its vast knowledge of breasts. |
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"Paris Tasselled Dog Annoyance" |
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//Doesn't calum live in Dogham?//
To a certain extent. |
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That requires a new formula : x the [z] y |
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Where x is a list of things to do, and y is a list of people or things that can have things done to them. [z] is an optional device that allows discrimination within group y, as in: |
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Where:
x = Torture
y = Snail
and
z = Urban
|
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(It's starting to look remarkably like the concatenation link up there) |
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But as you said earlier on, it's not so much the title (which is all the "formula" can practically achieve) but the rhetorical valence transition that counts - and by the way, what is a rhetorical valence transition? |
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It sounds like it might be something to do with making an argument that's counter to the status-quo, or perhaps starting (or appearing to start) to argue on one side, but switching halfway through. Either that or something about crossing a region in the south of France using dialectic transportation. |
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Is there a browser I can point at this page that will figure out those codes - I looked them up and have come away with something along the lines of finding the subset of custard umbrellas, multiplied by communist tennis courts, divided by all tennis courts and umbrellas. I am decidedly U+2368. |
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