Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Gym of Sighs, Groans and Roaring

add sound effects to your work-out
  (+10, -3)
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Most modern gyms feature smooth operating machinery that operates in close to total silence, but not at the Gym of Sighs, Groans and Roaring.

Every piece of equipment here is equipped with a noise generator and a comprehensive data base of sounds extracted from a variety of sources like: rasping metal; wooden beams straining; leather being twisted, cars crashing into walls etc.

When weights are thrown unto the rubberised mats you may hear anything from plate glass breaking, to concrete walls collapsing. Even small weights are able to generate floor shaking volume. Choose "Random" and you will never know what sound is about to erupt into the room as you drop your barbell.

To further enhance you work-out, you can also select "Sighs, Groans and Roaring." In this mode, even the most flimsy of individuals will experience their modest training session being punctuated with the noises of macho like grunts and loud groans.

Running machines, of course, sound like the galloping animal of choice. This means you can canter along like a pony or join a herd of stampeding buffalos.

xenzag, Aug 04 2008

Would this drown out Stuart Sugarman? http://www.nytimes....yregion&oref=slogin
[jutta, Aug 04 2008]

nude_20incentive_20for_20exercise [hippo, Aug 06 2008]

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       You're going to need a pretty powerful sound system to cover the noise of creaks, groans, pitiful whimpering, voices begging for oxygen masks, and the distictive high-pitched, rising whistle of a defribrilator charging ......
8th of 7, Aug 04 2008
  

       OMG, as if if the place wasn't noisy enough already. Still, [+] for the fun.
Noexit, Aug 05 2008
  

       No fingernails on the chalkboard sound, please.
RayfordSteele, Aug 05 2008
  

       These sighs and groan could be combined with an instrumental seventies disco track and the "nude incentive for exercise" (linked).
hippo, Aug 06 2008
  

       Can you give it a male/female voice that grows more and more excited until the preset "completed" time? Theres some incentive!
Voice, Aug 06 2008
  


 

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