Sporting events, by and large, tend to be utterly
dreary, predictable affairs: Two teams gather on a
playing field, move some sort of ball-like object
about
the field according to the rules of the particular
game
being played, and the statistically better team is
usually, but not always,
declared to be the victor.
Dull, dull, dull. Where's the human drama? The
existentialist pathos? Or, barring that, the wacky
pratfalls?
Well, we can do something about that last one at
least,
and it requires no major alterations to the rules of
the
games we all know and, presumably, love. Simply
modify the ball in some way such that it behaves
unpredictably, but is still theoretically usable for
play.
Baseballs could contain a motorized gyroscope.
Basketballs could be weighted heavily towards one
side. Hockey pucks could be a flat ovoid. Footballs
(the American kind) could be partially filled with
liquid. Soccer balls could be irregular
dodecahedrons.
Tennis balls could have two sides with differing
elasticity.
With this one small modification, sports as we know
it
would be dramatically different, and far more
complex. It would no longer be sufficient for
athletes
to train to a limited set of predictable situations.
The
champions in this league would be players and teams
that not only exhibit athletic prowess, but are
capable
of thinking on their toes and adapting their strategies
to a highly dynamic game.
At the very least, it would be hysterical to watch.