Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Professional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.

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Ginormous slide

 Coated in some friction reducing material.
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1) 		  [vote for,
against]

This will be the first ever slide that can catch people falling from an airplane. The trick is to build the slide with an incredibly steep slope. Say the slide goes from 90 degrees vetical to 89 degrees in 500 feet. The rate of the slope going to zero would be the shape of an exponential curve. The only difference is that the slide would be built up the side of some sky scraper. Slick the slide down with water and let the fun begin.
—Antegrity, Jun 18 2006

Fairly Halfbaked Parachute-less_20base_20jumping
[Shz, Jun 23 2006]

[link]






       how do you get it underneath the airplane that requires it? it's not like you can carry around this slide.
—tcarson, Jun 18 2006
   

       Coat the slide with teflon.
—skinflaps, Jun 18 2006
   

       Don't forget the logarithmic scale down the side - doubling the invention up into an Enormous Slide - Rule.
—zen_tom, Jun 18 2006
   

       I had a similar thought a few years ago after visiting a fun park, when I thought how cool it would be to jump off the White Cliffs of Dover. I think building it on to a skyscraper is better and maybe could be used as an emergency escape route in case of fire. Maybe even build all skyscrapers this way allowing for a fast exit if the elevator is full.
—noblea, Jun 18 2006
   

       Bun, it will be baked.
—zeno, Jun 18 2006
   

       Awesome! [+] Although I'm assuming this slide isn't your average open top one, wind force would undoubtably rip you off the slide by your clothes as you approach amazing speeds. Perhaps the slide could be a perspex/ transparent plastic one? Although I wouldn't want to be the attendant catching all the turds at the bottom!
—kuupuuluu, Jun 18 2006
   

       This slide will need to go back up onto a second, lower skyscraper on the other side. Either that or have sleds withe brakes. Otherwise there is nothing to slow you down except friction. If you reduce the friction of the slide you will prolong the time it takes to slow, but in the end all of that kinetic energy goes into your butt.   

       With the second slide you would slow gravitationally, and pop up at the other side. It offers the possibility of a series of slides.
—bungston, Jun 19 2006
   

       It's the spectre of, hmm, 80kg x 300m x 9.81 ms-2 = approx 240kJ being dissipated into my backside in just thirty seconds or so that scares me... like sitting on an 8kW hotplate. Definitely needs to be a waterslide with a looong water brake at the bottom.
—david_scothern, Jun 19 2006
   

       The only issue would be lining up with the vertical section of the slide when you jump from the plane. To solve this problem a large flourescent ring would be fitted over the top of the slide. If the diver passes through the ring he or she will be brought to rest by the slide. If they miss the ring they would still have a couple thousand feet to deploy a parachute.
—Antegrity, Jun 22 2006
   

       if it's enclosed, you can brake at the bottom with a series or u-bends that bleed off excess momentum and keep you moving down the slide so you aren't run over by the faster moving more recent additions to the slide.   

       i still want to know how you're supposed to catch a falling airplane if you can't move it.
—tcarson, Jun 22 2006
   

       Could you get David Blaine to test this? Thus: if it works, great. If it fails and the user explodes from arse friction, great. There's just no downside.   

       Edit: could this friction problem be somehow combated by combining with the Automated Pussy Wettener?
—rubyminky, Jun 22 2006
   

       I dont know who the first user would be. Preventing sideways motion would be a problem. The slide would have to have a shallow bend. I could see thousands of wet pussies sliding down the slide to slick it up. Put a lesson to that pussy. BAD PUSSY.
—Antegrity, Jun 23 2006
   

       What happens when wind effects carry you a few feet away from the near-vertical section and you hit a less steep section of the ramp with a thud?
—BunsenHoneydew, Jun 24 2006
   

       All four facades of all skyscrapers exceeding three stories should have this "slide". Therefore, anyone trying to commit suicide will end up sliding down a steep ramp. For added kicks, you can set up bowling pins or huge cream pies along the bottom perimeter.
—Archbishop Furball, Apr 19 2007
   
      
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