h a l f b a k e r yOn the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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Hamsters are popular pets, and are often provided with exercise
wheels.
Giant African Land Snails are also popular pets, and are not.
So.
MaxCompanian (Snail division) Inc. is proud to introduce the
GALSerciser.
The GALSerciser looks at first sight like a regular exercise wheel,
only
somewhat larger (about 12ft diameter). It is mounted on a
low-friction bearing, and adjustable counterweights allow its
balance to be fine-tuned.
The Giant African Land Snail enters the wheel at the bottom, of
course. Arrows printed on the inner surface tell it which way to
start
moving. As it moves, of course, it causes the wheel to turn
slowly,
in much the same way as hamster wheel.
"What" we hear you ask "is in it for the snail?" Glad you asked
that.
The inner surface of the wheel is lined with an absorbent cotton
wool-like material (cotton wool), which is gently misted with
water.
At the apex of the wheel, directed at this inner surface, is a
lettuce-
seed gun of the usual variety.
As the wheel turns, it tightens the spring on the lettuce-see gun
until
- Ping! - a single lettuce seed is fired into the absorbent cotton
wool-
like lining of the wheel. As the wheel continues to turn in an
inexorable way, this seed (which, of course, has others following
on
behind it) germinates and begins to grow, fertilised by the
deposits
of Giant African Land Snail dung previously left on the inner
surface
of the wheel.
By the time the wheel has turned a half-circle, the lettuce
seedling
is large enough to make a tasty morsel for the Giant African Land
Snail which, in walking* towards the seedling, turns the wheel a
little more, perpetuating the process.
You will note that the system ensures optimal fitness and dietery
restraint for the snail: if it is over-greedy and hastens too rapidly
towards the next seedling, the seedling will have had less time to
grow, and hence will provide a smaller meal. If the snail chooses
to
watch its weight, however, and eat less frequently, then each
seedling will have grown larger by the time it reaches the snail,
encouraging a more substantial intake of lettucy goodness.
We are, of course, investigating the potential of such a system to
generate electricity by means of a small generator coupled to the
wheel.
*Footnote available on request.
Achatina achatina
http://www.petsnail...achatina.html#start
Prefers dead plants to live ones. [DrBob, Mar 08 2010]
[link]
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Can I have a footnote, please, Carol? |
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<Scrutinises sole of [MB]'s boot> |
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It says here, "ADMIT ONE". |
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Excess sibilants musst be excised. |
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Good lord - you are right. This probably means that I have
spent my intire life mis-spelling that word. Damn. Thanks. |
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These should exist in the civil service... |
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As an expert on the Giant African Snail*, I can tell you that the flaw in your scheme is that these creatures prefer rotting vegetable matter rather than your apparently succulent** lettuce shoots, so they are likely to be rather less incentivized*** than you think.
* Five minutes of scouting round the internet seems to count as expertise these days so I think the claim is valid.
** Haven't used that word for a while. It's like welcoming back an old friend.
*** Feel free to insert an actual, real word or words of your choice in place of this annoying non-word. |
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I would have called this: "Escargogo" |
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I find that our GALs food preferences are courgettes, mouldy newspaper and lettuce, in that order. |
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yes, they tend to dig their way down to the bottom of the vivarium and eat the lining paper. especially if you try and feed them with iceberg lettuce. |
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I don't usually do this, but sp: companion. |
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If the wheel was bigger, then the lettuce would have time to germinate, grow, wither, die and rot before the snail got to it. This seems the obvious solution to me. |
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I think we need to see the math for that please hippo. Exactly how much bigger would the wheel need to be? |
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"we need to see the math"!? - are you suddenly American, [DrBob]? |
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//sp: companion// That domain name was taken. |
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Damn straight, hippo! Yeehaw! |
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// if it is over-greedy and hastens too rapidly towards the next seedling, the seedling will have had less time to grow// |
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Hence the term: "tip of the iceburg lettuce" |
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Lettuce all stop and ponder that for a moment. |
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// if it is over-greedy and hastens too rapidly towards the
next seedling, the seedling will have had less time to grow// |
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In a hundred million years or so, you might breed a snail
capable of self control, or at least of worrying about the
future. Perhaps it could also be taught to worship you as a
god. |
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I'd say a 10ft. dia. wheel might do the trick + |
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