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Whilst at the beach merely distribute a large pile of hot chips (french fries for the northern suburbs), wait for a hapless seagull to scoff through the lot, dong it over the head, pluck it, off with its head, into the oven for an hour and a half. Pucka... Potato stuffed seagull, alot tastier than pigeon.
Tip:
Make sure plenty of salt on chips, and a sprinkle of mixed herbs to taste....
A pirate at the local bar discusses his past
http://www.ahajokes.com/bar042.html
[Amos Kito, Oct 04 2004]
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taking lessons from his waxness. |
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Given how much carrion seagulls eat, I have to wonder about the taste. However, you have a bigger problem - seagulls are fiercely combative, and from my experience, you'll have a really hard time sneaking up and donging it on the head, even with a bag of chips as bait. |
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No one does it like Kentucky Fried Seagull. |
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[dag], do tell! What island? |
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Back in my school days, a friend and I were walking across a rather large empty suburban parking lot. He was eating chips and was being harassed by a flock of seagulls looking for a handout. Out of frustration, he grabbed a 'D' cell battery he happened to be carrying in his pocket and threw it at the birds. His aim was true and the battery cleanly amputated the leg off one of them. It was the strangest thing I'd ever seen (up to that point). Dumfounded, we watched the seagull foot spaz-out on the asphalt. Thinking back on this, especially now in light of this half-baked idea, I realize what a real opportunity we had before us. Cest la vie. |
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//we watched the seagull foot spaz-out on the asphalt// |
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I thought he was going to say the bird caught it in his beak. they are amazing food catchers. |
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I hate seagulls! They are the bane of my leisure time seaside activities, always skulking around with an eye on my lunch! When one gets close enough I throw something at it or chase it away - but all as a lark: I never imagined actually hurting one. They're usually pretty quick to get out of the way of my poorly aimed lob. |
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Seagulls: worse than pigeons.
1. They're bigger --> they shit bigger.
2. They're bad tempered.
3. They make a horrible noise, like a keening anus.
4. They aren't merely confined to one area, like city pigeons are. Oh no. They roam and can be found ripping open bin bags, carrying off puppies and selling Afghani heroin to schoolchildren many, many miles inland. |
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I remeber we had a bbq at Christmas, and the seagulls all hudled around strying to aquire food, at the end we threw them the left overs, and this one seagull necked a whole sausage, and it was like 8 inches long we thought it was going to choke to death...laugh.. I nearly did... |
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goddamnit [calum], not while I've got food in my mouth. I just snorted a mouthful of jalepeno potato chips all over the computer screen. |
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Well, no, not really. But if I had been eating jalepeno potato chips, I would have definitely had some clean-up to do. |
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A keening anus. Oh, my...oh my lord...I have _got_ to use that in conversation sometime. --Believe me, I'll be able to slip it in somehow. |
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Ahem: that's "Freedom Fried Seagull". |
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An associate of mine once shot a seagul, froze it, and gave it to a friend. She's not his friend anymore. Oh well. |
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Madcat - That sounds like something Bug Eyed Earl would say from redmeat.com |
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Damn straight, Dr. C! They can wear their snooty berets and make incomprehensible gestures all they like, but they can't take our seagulls! |
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We a'ready got some. (I told heem we a'ready got some. He he.) |
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A friend of mine once lost a whole bag of pot to a seagull. I wonder if it got high... |
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Now that's a well trained bird. |
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If you can dangle a baited hook in
the water to catch a fish, why not
raise a hook with a kite to catch
seagulls? For artificial bait, the
mere sight of a McDonald's logo
would do....
By the way, why didn't birds ever
learn to kill helpless ground
dwellers by dropping rocks on
them? |
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Yuuummmmmmmm, seaaaaguuuulll. Mmmmmm, we like the idea of adding salt for taste since we really care whether or not our next meal enjoys its "last supper" right? |
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animal rights non-activist |
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You should have boiled the seagull with the D cell and when it was tender you could have had a delicious meal and thrown the seagull away. |
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