Freckle Probe Advent Calendar

Freckles are natural and necessary (how else is the poo going to exit?) but most people are relative strangers to their own freckle and those of others.

So, as the recommended time for that first of many regular digital rectal examinations approaches (approx 45 in most places), the average Dick or Dora begins to develop some anxiety over the coming procedure. Is my freckle embarrassingly hairy / large / colourful / tight / loose? Will the doctor need any tools? Are the doctors fingers long / warm / strong enough? What IS the procedure anyway?

The Freckle Probe Advent Calendar commences 30 days out from the giftee's 45th birthday (whether they are having a procedure or not - this is public education we're talking about here). The first little windows open up to photos of some quite pretty freckles including some cat's bums (to show that all animals have them), then some more adventurous shots of less attractive, but still normal, dates.

Fourteen days out, the calendar reveals some of the interesting things which have been shown to actually fit into a rectum (gerbils, light bulbs, Coke bottles, very large erections) so that the user becomes less apprehensive about the size issue.

The last week is about the instruments and the procedure, with the final day a large fold-out wall poster of that nice Mr Goetzee doing his favourite arse stretch thing and a rubber glove so that the user can try a digital insertion in the privacy of their own home.

Oh, and as motivation / reward, each day comes with an appropriately shaped chocolate nougat log.