h a l f b a k e r yNeural Knotwork
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Connected throughout an entire shopping center is a round accessible tube much like a water slide with clear panels here and there filled with a slowly flowing stream.
Busy mothers with new born infants are encouraged to meet on level 16, where their child is placed into a waterproof and untippable
floating plastic basonet. The child is strapped in and given a firm push into the tube where the child will ride unassissted for the next 30-40 minutes. Along the way, flashing lights, happy music and animatronic pixies who jig about with ornate flutes and comical moustaches, provide the baby with a pleasant experience.
The tube flows visibly through certain sections of the shopping center i.e under the floor, overhead in the restaurant, beneath the cash register in the discount cigarette shop etc. Clear panels are installed so mother can wave as baby goes past every now and again.
A GPS system will alert staff to unforseen tube blockages, and on every floor there is an extra slow running pool for retrieval if mother needs to leave early.
Motion sensor cameras are installed to take cute snaps of baby inside the tube and are sold at the kiosk on level 1.
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why just supermarkets [ben] ? I like it, and I'll have one. |
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No doubt it was a concept just like this one that set Moses on his way. Which floor has the bullrushes? |
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fathers might do this. Not mothers. |
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This being benfrost, I was expecting that you might connect this to the hospital beds where the mothers give birth directly into it. |
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On 2nd thought. Why an age limit? [+] |
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All smiles until one day a child snatcher drills into your tube. Such (probably) nebulous fears would likely discourage mothers from using the contraption. Fathers, as [sophocles] pointed out... |
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Fathers would ride with the babies while the mothers went shopping. Everyone's happy. |
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Can't stop laughing from soph's anno. |
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my mind reels with cons can only think of one pro, yeah dads would go for it. |
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I suspect not all babys would enjoy this and some would never be able to go shopping in their later lives due to a fear that the baby tubes will claim them again, for good this time. |
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I reserve my judgement on this one. |
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GPS? What? Blimey - where's this tube going, Cuba? |
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