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I thought we already did this, but I couldn't find it so here goes.
I've seen free-for-all bar fights in movies and they look like a blast. But I'm too civilized to want to ruin someone else's property and getting arrested doesn't seem like fun either. Formalized boxing arenas are too sterile, have
too many rules, and don't have enough simultaneous participants.
This bar would be designed for people who want to get into fights. Sign the legal release at the door. The displayed bottles would be filled with colored water for cheap breakage. (real drinks are served from a protected cabinet) All furniture is designed to break fairly easily. Some protection is required, excess protection is discouraged. Everyone you meet is itching for a brawl. The rules are if they're on the ground you don't get to keep hitting them, if you get up you're fair play, and no stabbing. No weapons are permitted but what can be found on-site. The barkeep has a shotgun filled with blanks to call rounds and let people who have had enough leave.
Three separate areas are available, for complete amateurs, for experienced patrons, and for martial artists who want sparring partners.
"Et dona ferentes ...
https://www.poetryl..._dona_ferentes.html
Be warned. [8th of 7, Dec 28 2019]
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I'd go for this if no weapons (not even found objects) were
allowed. Schoolground fights were good fun until someone
got hold of a brick. |
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What about Marshall* arts ? That would be OK, shirley ? |
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*Marshall arts are defined as "person to person combat without the use of formal weaponry". It involves whacking your opponent over the head with a bass speaker cabinet incorporating a 1 kW P.A. amplifier. One whack is usually sufficient to permanently resolve any difference of opinion. |
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Many years ago I witnessed a bar fight in my home town. I was in the bar with other friends when it broke out. It was savage. Chairs, bottles, glasses were involved, and two opposing gangs engaged in full scale brutal combat. We baracaded ourselves in the toilets using an up-ended table to keep the battling mob from from coming inside. The police arrived, then an army 'snatch squad' with riot shields and heavier batons. We were eventually shepherded out through the destruction which was unbelievable. The bar was totally dismantled. There was a complete wall knocked down and a giant snooker table was smashed, along with everything else. There was blood everywhere. The bar never re-opended. It was intimated that a certain paramilitary organisation had orchestrated the fight and issued a follow up threat to make sure the place stayed closed. Bar fights are no joke. I'm amazed there were no deaths, but there were many serious injuries. |
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// a certain paramilitary organisation had orchestrated the fight and issued a follow up threat to make sure the place stayed closed. // |
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Harsh. They should just have stopped serving meat and gone vegan like you told them to ... |
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