h a l f b a k e r yNaturally, seismology provides the answer.
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Out in the Colonies they apparently have these things called earthquakes, where the ground wobbles. This is to do with some technicality about foreign places not being as solidly fixed to the ground, or possibly is to do with being a long way from England, which means the connection to the Greenwich
Meridien is weaker. Or possibly it is connected to speaking in funny foreign lingos.
Anyway, there is the possibility that honest folk in the Shires might miss out on the thrill and novelty of being in an Earthquake, and so I propose that a proportion of new-build houses and luxury apartment blocks incorporate hydraulic rams and floating plates within the foundations. Then, at arbitrarily chosen times, the rams can be actuated, thus shaking the building and ensuing a ready supply of hilarity and wobbly ornaments and pictures from those within.
As long as nobody gets hurt they are fun.
Earthquake_20Fun_20Scale
[doctorremulac3, Apr 19 2019]
[link]
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You know, I can't help thinking... no, wait, I can. |
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Sp. "Meridian", Pr. "Centre of the Universe". |
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Earthquakes and volcanoes are both the consequence of Plate Tectonics. Plate Tectonics are caused by a number of factors, including but not limited to (a) building your country in a stupid place, (b) not having a proper i.e. German Royal Family, (c) being unwilling or unable to spell or pronounce "Aluminium" correctly, and (d) not putting the milk in the cup before pouring the tea. |
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This can be proved by reference to Australia ; although it is built in a stupid place, it does manage to fulfill (b), (c) and (d) and is therefore free from earthquakes. |
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Similarly, Austria avoids earthquakes by a different selection of protective factors. |
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One earthquake knocked all the products off the shelves
at a drugstore where I was buying a steam humidifier. I
thought, "Whoa, gnarly! How cool!" (I am from California
after all) until I remembered my recording studio, ran out
the door forgetting I was holding this steamer thing,
realized I could probably be shot for looting, turned
around and rather than going back in and putting it on the
now half empty shelves I just tossed in on one of the the
piles of stuff on the floor and ran out. |
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Studio suffered minimum damage. Bunch of master tapes
fell off the shelves, that's about it. |
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Anyway, I had to crouch down in a sort of football stance
to not get knocked over. Luckily I'm a fine physical
specimen with catlike reflexes and an innate capacity to
not get shot for shoplifting. |
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It is perhaps noteworthy that the thing running through San
Andreas is called a fault, not a feature. |
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Also, what's the point in humidifying steam? |
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As opposed to an ultrasonic humidifier. |
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It's just something we do here. |
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// what's the point in humidifying steam? // |
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Because "dry steam " really is a thing. |
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We hope you are not, however, any sort of cat - otherwise we will, slightly regretfully, have to kill you. Nothing personal, you understand. |
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I hope the Borg evolution didn't historically arise from a janitorial pest control protocol subroutine which has yet to be found and re-evolved. |
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Earthquake and Seismic Intensity Information)
Issued at 22:07 JST 20 Apr 2019 3.7 magnitude
(Japanese scale)...bit of slow day. |
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//We hope you are not, however, any sort of
cat// |
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Never been specifically told I wasn't a cat. |
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They have ... tech support say it'll be fixed in the next version. |
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Until then, there's a work-around. |
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