h a l f b a k e r y[marked-for-tagline]
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
It has been noted that those who use prosthetic lower limbs have a certain advantage when it comes to, for example, queueing. More often than not, a pained expression and constant shifting of weight onto a walking stick will be enough to make many gatekeepers - however seemingly fearsome - so uneasy
at the obvious presence of disability to allow a little delicate queue-jumping to occur; and even better, other able-bodied queuers raise no objection to such proceedings.
Thus BorgCo have designed and manufactured a superbly engineered fake artificial leg. This rigid casing clips neatly and comfortably over a real, normal functional leg, and is cunningly coloured and textured to look not quite lifelike, with a prominent metal "hinge" at the ankle.
Use of a small, soft plastic block inside the heel of the corresponding shoe produces a convincing slight limp and awkwardness when walking, adding to the authenticity of the appearance.
If the "leg" is tapped with the optional complementary walking stick (available for a modest extra charge) a distinctive hollow, knocking sound is emitted - by the stick. But it sounds like it comes from the leg, of course.
Please log in.
If you're not logged in,
you can see what this page
looks like, but you will
not be able to add anything.
Annotation:
|
| |
For you, is there a head to go with it? One that
contains an actual brain instead a sponge that's
been dipped in a bowl of bat guano would be
useful. [+] For the idea that the bat we sent
probably wrote for you. |
|
| |
Cheaper option: just remove your leg. No on-going
maintenance, lighter and easier to transport (the non-
existent leg, that is; the rest of the person, not so much...). |
|
| |
// a special place in Hell reserved for people who fake a disability for pity’s sake. // |
|
| |
Quite right, that's contemptible, despicable and disgusting. |
|
| |
What about the ones who do it from simple selfishness, laziness and arrogance, though ? That's all right, shirley ? |
|
| |
Further modification I just thought of: once the artificial
artificial leg is clamped on tight, it doesn't come off. Ever. |
|
| |
We are familiar with "Jake the Peg", but our speciality is Barbershop ... as you would expect, we're superb at close-harmony singing ... |
|
| |
// they’re queued up for your tour of Gettysburg. // |
|
| |
They don't exactly have a choice; the shackles and chains keep them in line quite nicely. We won't make that mistake again, after the last lot ran away ... |
|
| |
<Massive Collective throat-clearing/> |
|
| |
"Earplugs ... earplugs ... only fifty dollars a pair ... earplugs ... cotton wool ... get your earplugs here ... last chance to buy ... earplugs ..." |
|
| |
Your insomnia is not our problem, [kdf] |
|
| |