h a l f b a k e r yProfessional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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I am not nice to wake up. Everyone who has ever tried learned quickly to do it from a distance because I tend to say and throw things that I later regret. This morning rage could be put to good use however, with the exceedingly tough alarm clock. I imagine a pretty loud alarm clock, hardwired into the
mains supply that has an awful lot of armour on it. The only way to shut the damn thing up would be to beat the living hell out of it with a heavy stick (an axe handle maybe) for long enough to ensure that I am actually awake before I get rewarded with silence. This would dissipate the rage while ensuring that I can't shut it off in my sleep.
throw it against the wall. not tough enough for you?
http://www.tennisgi...larmclock_throw.htm
[po, Nov 21 2006]
[link]
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The tennis ball clock goes some way towards the 'abuse the bastard clock' part of the idea but doesn't ensure the user is awake before shutting up. The exceedingly tough alarm clock would require not one but many blows from the stick before finally (thankfully) turning off. This way the former sleeper is left panting slightly with an unusual amount of adrenaline for someone who has just woken up and is thus less likely to go back to sleep. I got this idea from a crappy alarm clock that I own. It's buttons don't always work so every now and then I find myself beating it out of frustration as it won't clam up (usually when Tom Petty is playing). Unfortunately I can easily unplug it or turn the volume down so even when this happens I often go back to sleep. |
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Make sure that if you decide to chuck it
against the wall that you have installed
exeedingly tough drywall or live with dents
and holes. |
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With the amount of armour this would need it would take someone far stronger than I to chuck it about. |
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You had better mary an exceedingly tough wife. |
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Yeah, this is only one of many reasons why any sane woman wouldn't touch me with a ten foot bargepole. |
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//Yeah, this is only one of many reasons why any sane woman wouldn't touch me with a ten foot bargepole.// |
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I think that is the problem, the ten foot bargepole is to hard to swing. If you are really that violent in the morning, it is possible that you need to be woken up with an aluminum baseball bat. I think that would tame you right quick. |
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I'll bun this one, I too am not easily awakened in the morning and alarm clocks just don't last long at all, the only one I haven't broken is my cell phone because I don't wanna break my cell phone I need it. |
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Put the alarm clock in a hollow section of log and leave an axe by the bed. Once you have hacked through the log you should be thoroughly awake. Not only are you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed but you have firewood for the morning. |
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To make sure that the alarm is annoying enough to get you up make sure it plays the Best of Clay Aiken with the volume sufficiently turned up. |
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//you need to be woken up with an aluminum baseball bat// |
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That might work, if it was swung fast enough to avoid my catching it (not a difficult requirement at that time of the morning) that is. The problem I see is that I could take one to the head and pretend to be out cold, thus gaining more sleep. |
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A friend once woke me up with french bangers, the inch long type. It took three or four. I was glad I woke when I did as he was about to switch to heavier ammunition. |
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