Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Apply directly to forehead.

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Emergency Aircraft Amalgamator

The fluffier way to land.
 
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Aircraft ejector seats have significant disadvantages, as described in the linked idea. Attempts to use explosives to impart velocity to parts of the system other than the pilot are also not without their downsides.

Among the problems with both of these approaches is that lumps of metal are quite hard and can cause significant damage to anything that impacts them at speed.

Bumping into a handful of fluffy, feathery, entirely environmentally friendly and non-toxic mercury-aluminium amalgam is much less hazardous.

So, construct a large number of small devices, to be attached to the aluminium body of the aircraft. Each one contains some mercury and a small quantity of explosive. When the pilot presses the unnecessarily elaborate "AMALGAMATE" button, the explosives are detonated, driving the mercury deep into the attached aluminium throughout the structure of the aircraft.

The effect will admittedly be less immediate than that of the ejector seat.

What remains after the fluff has dissipated is a pilot and a set of fuel tanks, because obviously you don't want to amalgamate the fuel tanks. At this point, the pilot's parachute operates, causing significant drag which means that the fuel tanks rapidly fly ahead of him and pose no hazard as he lands.

Wrongfellow, Jul 16 2017

Aircraft rejector seat Aircraft_20rejector_20seat
Inspiration. [Wrongfellow, Jul 16 2017]

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