Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dyson "Number 3" Booth

auto # 3 hair cutting booth (aka Baldy Booth)
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I used to have long hair in my hippy days, but now keep it really short in my halcyon years. This requires frequent trimming, as it seems to grow quite rapidly. Every few weeks, a loyal friend deftly runs an electric shaver over my head, leaving me with what is often referred to as a "number 3".

When I go travelling, this personalised service is obviously no longer available, and I refuse to entertain allowing a total stranger to explore my phrenological features, possibly gaining some esoteric information about me that could be put to dastardly purpose. I am therefore reduced to either letting my head sprout like a tooth-brush or hagging random lumps out of it with a DIY hair-cut. Life was so much easier in my hippy days, when I used to simply chew off with my teeth any wayward annoying strands. (a public display of this activity is how I met my lady love on a New York Subway train, but I digress)

The answer to my missing head shaving attendant is obvious: auto hair cutting booths (using Dyson technology of course)

Here's how they work:

These new hair cutting booths are similar in size and nature to traditional photo booths. Once seated inside, having pulled the privacy curtain, the user pays the appropriate fee to enable the booth to become fully activate. A simple touch screen menu presents a number of options, and price range. A basic number 3, 2, or 1 is set at a modest fiver. Text messages or graphic images shaved into the head naturally cost a bit more.

On selection, the user is instructed to remain still as a rapid 3D scan of the entire head is made. This digitised map forms the instruction data for the robot arm that emerges, equipped with a 3, 2, or 1 hair shaver. The arm deftly and carefully follows the contour of the customer's head. Constant monitoring by the 3D scanner ensures an accurate outcome, achieved in total safety and comfort. As the cutting action produces copious amounts of tiny hairs, a powerful vacuum (Dyson of course) closely follows the shaving arm. Supplementary treatment now begins - (if it has been selected) - ie scalp massage; oil lubrication etc.

Once complete, the satisfied customer draws back the curtain and emerges, head gleaming; refreshed and ready to face the world.

xenzag, Jul 16 2016

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