Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Duelling Banjo Horn

Show them who's boss
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Instead of the horrible blaring toot of horns, wouldn't you much rather hear duelling banjos? Steering wheels will now have strings going across the middle of them, fixed in place.
Now, when the hand brake is on, the steering wheel can be detached and a telescopic fretboard can be pulled out from the side.
If you are ever in the situation where you and another car are stuck facing each other on a very narrow road, the two drivers must then detach their steering wheels and play duelling banjos.
A computer will monitor the driver's progress through the song. At the end of each section, if one driver has a lower number of correctly played notes then they lose the duel and must yield to the winning driver (The computers in the cars will communicate via radio connections to ensure they know who the winner is).
There are four levels of play, easy, medium, hard and very hard. Easy level involves just using the strings, under which lights will activate to show which string to pluck.
Medium will include the fretboard - along which there are buttons which can light up, showing where the strings would be pressed if they went all the way up the board, the lights on the fretboard and strings will glow.
Hard will use both strings and fretboard, but only the drivers choice of strings/fret will actually light.
Very Hard mode is unaided, leaving the driver to play the song by memory.
When the owner first buys the car, they must play a few times - to let the car know what level they can play at - so for the sake of speed - if drivers find themselves in the kind of position described, the player at a higher level will be automatic winner.
The banjos can also be played during such boring times as traffic jams. The telescopic fretboard has a double use as a crook lock while the car is parked.
fridge duck, May 04 2005

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       Bach's shoes!, Bach's shoes!,
If only Schubert's Blues
Tchai-kosvvv-sky,
on high with Vivaldi
  

       Only for tractors, right?
Zimmy, May 05 2005
  

       No name changing/applesauce/bestiality required, that's completely up to you.
fridge duck, May 05 2005
  

       Why necessarily a banjo. A less hill-billy equivalent could be to have a steering wheel that doubles as a drum.
hidden truths, May 06 2005
  

       I like the idea, but I think its a little complicated. Why not have the banjo wires be strung in the open areas of the steering wheel. I drive with my knee so it would be perfect.
10clock, May 07 2005
  

       //Does this mean I have to change my name to Jed, start eating applesauce through a straw, and develop a liking for porking farm animals?//   

       You forgot the Jack Daniels and, for that matter, the Charlie Daniels.
disbomber, May 07 2005
  
      
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