h a l f b a k e r yWe don't have enough art & classy shit around here.
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Medieval. Priests should head-butt the ashes. |
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Hey, why not set up a car wash type building with rollers on each side. As you drive the car through, everyone sticks their head out the window and the roller deposits the ritual smudge. That way you don't even have to stop. |
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The first 250 get a glow-in-the-dark statuette of Saint Christopher. |
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Holy Water Car Wash and/or Theme Park. |
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What about someone who comes round to your house while you're sleeping and applies it, so you don't have to donate any time or physical or mental effort to religious sacraments? |
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you can get that if you are old and infirm. |
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Is it a good idea to be told "to dust you shall return" while behind the wheel? |
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If you're not willing to invest time at church, why would you go at all? |
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You might as well ask for a 25-word Bible. |
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Add a drive-through confessional and I'm sold. |
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I keep thinking drive-thru christening and 1st swimming lessons..... |
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For a bus the priest would need an ash shot gun or leaf blower. |
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Ashes to Ashes, Dust to bus. |
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//You might as well ask for a 25-word Bible.// |
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That would be excellent. How about "In the
beginning, but then lots of trouble and begatting
and a big flood. Be nice to everyone, don't sleep
with animals. Take Sundays off." Did I leave
anything out? |
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Yes I think you missed the bits about masturbation and sodomy. From what I see of self-proclaimed bible fans, those subjects seem to make up at least 65% of the text. |
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Mostly just vicarious I think. |
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And do they need any scriptural encouragement? |
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OK, then. "Creation, general angst, floods. Don't try
begatting with yourself or others of the same sex, or
with animals.
Be nice to everyone. Take
Sundays off." |
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