DooFoo

Every couple of years there's a MUST have toy. And every couple of years you get parents who, except for neighborhood parties, cease being responsible, mature, level-headed human beings and act like piranhas in a feeding frenzy. The people that make these gotta-have toys generally follow-up the next year with models that are incredibly superior in performance to the original (or at least different in color)... but which never come close to the original in sales figures.

The ones that most interest me are the pseudo pet things that are either cuddly, with no other interaction, or hard as a rock with their own yak.

So... For Christmas 2002, I propose the "do for one" doll ("due for one?") pronounced, "do foo one", (close to "do fool one" with apologies to Mr.T), spelled "DooFoo1”... thereby setting up DooFoo2, DooFoo3, DooFooEtc., and ensuring that no child's life or the manufacturer's bank account is complete until the set is. Call 'em collectibles, and add another five bucks to the price.

DooFoo, not to be mistaken for DooFus (competing line dealing in fly-fishing products and all-in-one tools none of which work anything as good as the tool they are miniaturizing beyond usefulness), will be both cute AND interactive. It will be equipped with a voice recorder/emulator, such that as you talk, it will remember and restate something similar at a later date. The difference with DooFoo is that you can't turn it on or off... it turns itself on or off, on its own schedule, therefore listening, remembering, and playing BACK things that you don't necessarily want listened to, remembered, and certainly NOT played back: bedroom arguments; things said supposedly in private about the other spouse's mother; catty remarks by one teen about another teen, suddenly disclosed when that other teen happens to be around. DooFoo will be programmed to try to make exactly that happen.

If all this sounds complicated, it probably isn't. Making it cuddly, when you want to rip out its little heart (or little batteries) will be the tough part. I did some rough sketches on what DooFoo might look like. My daughter went for cute with an attitude.... me, I wanted a toy that was nothing but a big ear and a bigger mouth. Like someone else's mother-in-law. Not mine.