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Disposable Bridge Fall Jump Rope

 Manually-controlled cut/grip/release jump rope for those inconvenient circumstances
 
(0) 		  [vote for,
against]

Ever got caught in a tight situation - on a bridge - and just instantly felt the need to jump off it (without harming your safety)?

The Disposable Bridge Fall Jump Rope is the answer to your problems. The pack consists of two magnetic brackets, and a huge long hidden coil of rope. The whole gadget is operable in a few easy steps:-

1) Attach pack to bridge rail. The huge force of the magnet will even manage to hold the heaviest of jumpers.

2) Grab onto the end of the rope, take the 'controller' in your hand, and leap...

3) The rope will unravel as you fall towards the earth. When you are two-three foot away from hitting the ground (and facing the prospect of a few broken limbs), push the button on the controller.

4) One of the brackets on the pack above you will slam tight and break the unravelling rope. The other bracket will grip on the rope supporting you. You should now be dangling a couple of feet from the ground. Release the button.

5) Upon releasing the button, the bracket will let go. Bend your knees, and...ta-da! A safe landing!

Happy leaping!

—monkeyseemonkeydo, Jan 22 2003

[link]






       NO. only when half way to the water.
—po, Jan 22 2003
   

       6) Visit hospital with dislocated shoulder.
—st3f, Jan 22 2003
   

       Is your magnet one of those cartoon magnets that shoots little "lightning bolts" out toward what it is attracting? If so, sign me up.
—krelnik, Jan 22 2003
   

       Needs a bit of editing to avoid certain catastrophe, but a good start.
—RayfordSteele, Jan 22 2003
   

       7) return try again.
—skinflaps, Jan 22 2003
   

       Is there a separate device to keep your enormous magnet/backpack from smacking you in the head, because if there is I will definitely have to vote against this.   

       Well, the device is completely stuck to the bridge, so it won't smack you in the head unless you're really fat. The only problem I can think of now is that most of the bridges in the world would be covered in used DBFJRs. Ah, well, you suppose a 'recycle' button on the controller would come in handy?   

       Remember, kids, always wear a low profile parachute when attempting to use this semi-dangerous toy.
—monkeyseemonkeydo, Jan 23 2003
   
      
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