Desperanto

This word is actually in Urban Dictionary with a different meaning, but it fits so well i want to use it.
I don't agree with the belief that language completely determines our perception of the world, but i think it helps.
A constructed language that "tells it like it is" for people understood to be depressed by those delusional wretches who aren't. Among others, it has the following features:
The first person singular pronoun is pejorative, so it translates as something like "this scum" or "this wanker". The second person pronouns are always honorific: there is a Sie/Usted/vous form but no "Du/tu" form, as one has no friends. There is no first person plural because one is fundamentally alone in the Universe: there is no "we".
The zero morpheme marks negation, the passive voice and the dative. This is because one is a victim of circumstances and has no control, things happen to one and one cannot act meaningfully, and because negation is the normal state of things. Basically the opposite of the Rastafarian use of "I".
Receptacles can only be described as half-empty rather than half-full, temperatures described in terms of coldness, elevations in terms of depths rather than heights. Similarly, in pairs of antonyms such as "good/bad", the unmarked form is the negative one. Similar considerations apply to the likes of "good" (literally translated as "unbad"), "health" (non-illness) and so forth.
Cardinal numbers are negative and have to be stated to be positive, so the positive sign is needed to indicate that a number is not negative. This is a corollary of the "glass half empty".
"Hope" is an expletive and "optimist" is the worst insult imaginable.
Some translations:
Happy: Deluded
Alive: Not dead yet
Exists: Suffering
Birth: Afflicted
Death: Recovered
Time is counted in nights and winters rather than days and years (this is actually true in Old English).
In this language, everything is possible, but nothing positive is easy to express, and it will therefore be better at describing the world than mainstream languages, which are used by people who are not depressed and so it contributes to their inability to see reality as it actually is. The point of this language is to take off the rose-tinted spectacles.