Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Expensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.

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Dangerous Dave

It will save millions.
 
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Often between the ages of about 7 - 14 childrens(and sometimes older,) boys especially, recreation time becomes more like an episode of jackass than somthing that would be considered remotely relaxing or enjoyable. Some things that I can remember doing in my spare time at that age were riding down a street on an upturned table with two skateboards underneath with two friends, jumping from the roof of my house into the hedge, trolley surfing, drain caving, riding various things down stairs, basically anything that brought with it the risk of connecting skin with ashfalt carpet or any sharp peices of wood at high speed. At this age its very difficult to imagine what will happen if your insane stunt goes wrong, this is because you haven't seen it done before so you don't know what the consequences will be if it goes wrong, untill it goes wrong. A life sized stunt dummy should be made available that has realistic skin and bone structure so that you can see what could go wrong before it does go wrong. The dummy would be called Dave not only because you could market him under "Dave the dummy" or other stupid names but because when I was young Dave was always our test dummy, god rest his soul. Maby if we had a test dummy Dave would still be with us today.
Gulherme, Jun 08 2003

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       How do you get him to stand up on the upturned table with two skateboards underneath?
snarfyguy, Jun 09 2003
  

       who says he has to stand up, as long as he falls off convincingly then it should work fine.
Gulherme, Jun 09 2003
  

       Obligatory I bought one of Super Dave's hats as a gift for a Jackass wannabee acquaintance Post.
thumbwax, Jun 09 2003
  

       And if "Dangerous Dave" survives? Do you really think Ma and Pa are going to give kids this kind of license?
phoenix, Jun 09 2003
  

       ...But you'll always think you could do the jump better than Dave, so "Maby" you'd still be tempted to try it.
phundug, Jun 09 2003
  

       If Dangerous Dave falls off the skateboard/table after five seconds, he won't be going very fast, and injuries will be minimal. A real person can probably stay on a lot longer, which means they'll be going a lot faster by the time they fall off.
scad mientist, Jun 11 2003
  

       I thought this was what cats were for...
RayfordSteele, Jun 11 2003
  

       Haven't you ever been in the situation where you are thinking about doing somthing you know is stupid but you know that if you pull it off it will live on in neibourhood legend for ever? you are tossing up the pros and cons and all your friends are going "do it do it do it do it" and you know the only reason they want you to do it is because they know there is a high chance that you will be disfigured beyond recognition at wich point they will take the opportunity to steal your girlfriend? Well this way you can avoid such situations by trying to fuck up dave as much as possible so you can see the worst case senario if you dont make the creek jump to stone plant log slide revert.
Gulherme, Jun 11 2003
  

       [Bakesd]. I had a cousin that I used for just this purpose.   

       Phew! That could'a been me...
FloridaManatee, Jun 12 2003
  

       Ah, but the point of doing all that stuff is to prove that either you're not scared of doing horribly dangerous stuff or to scare yourself witless by doing something horribly dangerous. I don't think that Dave would get much use other than as a mutilation victim.

PS: Gulherme, thanks for calling him Dave and not Bob.
DrBob, Jun 12 2003
  

       But look what happens if you are Dangerous Dave.
oneoffdave, Jun 12 2003
  

       Well that was a conversation stopper if ever I heard one.
egbert, Jun 12 2003
  

       It all suddenly falls into place, doesn't it? oneoffdave, unidexter. Heh!
DrBob, Jun 12 2003
  

       Sorry, didn't mean to cause an awkward pause.
oneoffdave, Jun 12 2003
  
      
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