h a l f b a k e r yReplace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...
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A computer-controlled pair of robotic arms fitted with boxing gloves and attached to a cylindrical harness made out of cloth straps fits over any standard punching bag. A camera, mounted on the front of the harness, captures the boxer's movements, which allows the punching bag to punch back.
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Call it a counterpunching bag, since that's the boxing term
for what it's doing. Could be a neat training tool for serious
contenders. Sounds like litigation-in-a-box for amateurs,
though. [+] |
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We could accidentally leave the people who don't pay for our protection in the presence of one of these, and come back in half an hour to see if they've changed their minds.
[+] |
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Bonus if it could make the bag behave like Bald Bull,
Glass Joe, or Piston Honda. |
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or a counter-pooching bag, for people who don't like dogs. |
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Such people do not exist, Shirley. |
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I suppose a counter-pooching bag would have teeth, and would chase the people who didn't like dogs, and bite them if they ran too slowly. |
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The people who do like dogs would then be able to sit nearby and take bets on the nature of the bites. Is the bag a nipper? Is it just having fun giving someone a fright? Or is it a vicious kind of bag that's going to sink the teeth right in if someone doesn't shout at it soon? |
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We could accidentally leave the people who don't pay for our protection in the presence of one of these, hope they don't make friends with it, and come back in half an hour to see if they've changed their minds. |
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not to mention counter-putsching bag, useful for the Crimea |
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NB, dogs are effing useless...heard they don't even taste that nice. |
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Ah for that matter human beings are pretty useless, but apparently taste like pork. I don't know why they don't taste like chicken, like everything else (except penguins - which, BTW, are also useless, but taste like the kind of storstrüming that even Swedes chuck back in the Baltic.) |
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You'll probably find fatties taste quite nice, because fat dissolves whatever of what's tasty in food that is not contained in the delicious fat (that the joy police have decided to make illegal), itself. So fat people have some usefulness, and it's only the skinny ones who are comprehensively useless. |
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Actually, imagine how delicious it would be to eat a boiled fat Indian. He or she would have the best cuisine on Earth disolved in the tissues by a lifetime of eating what the rest only dream of. You wouldn't want to waste something useful like that kind of prime meat (even with a possible gammy leg) by roasting it. Boil or steam it, I say... |
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Erm ... yes and a counter-putsching bag ... I know it would be stuffed with ballots, but I can't picture its other qualities as yet. (My mouth is watering, and nothing else seems to matter). Nazdarovia! |
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<ennui>What I usually say at this point</n> |
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you forgot an n in the title |
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Counterpuking bag, for getting revenge on airsick 1st
class flyers? |
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