CompuPrayer

If prayer has any power, does it arise from the mind of the supplicant or from the prayer itself? Since some would have us believe that getting complete strangers to pray on our behalf has merit, that suggests to me that it's the prayer that counts.

If that's the case, then a computer program could whip up millions of prayers each day. Imagine, your own personal million monkeys beseeching the almighty to give you better abs, or a shot with the office receptionist. Take out ads in all the religious magazines. (We'd be non-demoninational, of course.) For $20 per month, the client could have time share on a speedy Intel server, getting upwards of 100,000 new prayers composed on their behalf, each and every minute.

At the end of the month, they'd receive a tasteful card, showing their prayer totals and a sample or two of the prayers uttered.

But you don't have to stop at prayers for yourself. It would make a novel gift for any newlywed couple, a grandmother confronting surgery or a cousin up for appeal.

The wealthier clients would even be able to buy their very own, dedicated server, channeling all the prayer power your 20GHz silicon can muster on their behalf.

The only problem I see with it is that, if I build it, I'll end up going straight to hell.