h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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Despite warning signs- Deep Water, Strong Offshore Currents, Shark
Area, Cliff Edge- certain individuals persist in inexplicable acts of
stupidity, like tombstoning.
This would be wonderful of they simply killed themselves and
disappeared from the world; Mr. Darwin would approve.
But unfortunately,
all too often they merely end up badly damaged
and have to be repaired at great expense. Quite why is unclear, and
certainly irrational.
Should they succeed in self-immolation, then in the short term there
are traffic queues, searches by the emergency services, and
unpleasant activities involving rubber gloves and buckets. In the longer
term, there are investigations and inquests, which eventually
conclude" they died because they behaved like an idiot".
Therefore, all areas where idiots foregather would be provided with
inductive hearing loops broadcastin the message "Don't be a fool all
your life". Recipients of implants would be identified by psychological
screening at about age 10.
Implants are necessary as they can't be lost, forgotten, left behind, or
easily ignored.
(?) http://northernhors...rling%20picture.jpg
[rcarty, Aug 19 2012]
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Aha - so, an idea to prevent people doing reckless
things for the fun of it, on the grounds that they're
dangerous? |
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No, on the grounds that they inconvenience
others. |
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We are all in favour of them removing
themselves, as long as it's discreet,
inexpensive, and does not cause huge traffic
jams. |
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That works until that person's healthcare is also
responsible for that of another party, say, a fetus. |
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"Why is it that I keep seeing 'Don't be a fool all your
life' plastered all over the halfbakery?" |
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//on the grounds that they inconvenience
others// |
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Aww, c'mon. Living is an inconvenience to others.
You and I are both inconveniences to others. The
first man to try lighting a fart was an
inconvenience to others. The guy who invented
gunpowder (which I believe you like) was probably
an inconvenience to others (particularly those
whose job it was to reattach fingers or craft false
eyebrows). |
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Many of the N-Prize entrants will probably
inconvenience others. Werner von Braun
inconvenienced a great many others (OK, he's not
a good example - skip that one). The gentleman
who invented the hang-glider caused many people
to inconvenience themselves and others. |
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The first person to discover that passion fruit was
edible ran the risk of inconveniencing others, as
did the first person to discover that those tasty-
looking red mushrooms with the white flecks were
not edible. |
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Friends, countrymen, fellow halfbakers - I give you
the pioneers, the adventurers, the explorers, the
people who think outside the envelope. I urge
you to join me in a toast to People Who
Inconvenience Others. |
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Could there be Public Inconveniences set up? |
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[xen], you should post that … |
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Toilets in highly inaccessible locations? |
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I've never read this anywhere before but... is there any correlation between tax-funded-healthcare countries having decreased thrill-seeking, (termed, 'profoundly hard of thinking' in this idea), tendancies among their citizens compared with privatized-healthcare countries?
If there is, then that would be weird and in need of study, no? |
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Whilst I take MBs point, I don't think there is much pioneering involved in tombstoning. We get a lot of it down our way and the original pioneers of the game have long since established, with quite a high degree of accuracy, that it's not big, not clever, and not quite fatal.
However, the whole hearing loop thing is clearly a waste of time as the first impulse of the target demographic will be to spend a lot of time trying to dig out their implants with a sharpened spoon (which they will probably not have licked clean yet). |
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Why would diving into water result in
self-immolation (which usually refers to setting oneself on fire), and why (unless the water was a where a road fords a river, for example) would this result in inconvenience to traffic? |
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Immolation - the ones that die are often
cremated. |
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Traffic jams - if it's done from a structure
(often a bridge) which is part of or near to a
public highway, the accumulation of
emergency service vehicles and then need to
gather evidence etc. generally means the
road is closed for some time, meaning
vehichles have to turn round and take a long
diversion. |
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I hope you're not having a go at Tony Scott. |
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//I don't think there is much pioneering involved
in tombstoning.// |
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True, and yet at the same time wrong. Several
Soviet Special Forces units were, during WWII (and
possibly since then) trained in "tombstoning" as a
means of launching surprise attacks on people in
buildings. The parachutists had advanced (for the
time) steerable 'chutes, and an additional rip-cord
which released a central segment of the canopy,
increasing the rate of descent to something like
20 feet per second. The also wore a "konus" (can't
get cyrillic to work here) - a
hardwood penetrator cone, padded on the inside,
on their feet. |
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If they were on target to hit the target building,
they would pull the partial-release cord about 30
feet above the roof, straighten and stiffen their
legs, and clasp their hands above their heads. In
this way, they would smash through the roof,
surprising the occupants (considerably, I would
imagine). |
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Obviously, this worked only on fairly lightly-build
roofs, but the penetrator worked on regular slated
or tiled roofs. Most of the injuries to the
parachutists happened if, by bad luck, they hit
the roof directly over a rafter; apart from this, it
was pretty successful. |
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The system was developed by Nikolai Fomenko
who, as a youth, had accidentally "tombstoned"
right through a wooden rowing boat from a bridge
on the Neva river, near St. Petersburg. |
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If you check the dates, you will note the idea
predates the extremely sad and unfortunate
demise of the talented and highly respected
Mr. Scott; a great loss
indeed. |
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The man who gave us 'Days of Thunder?' |
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"...If you don't think too good, don't think too much..." --- Ted Williams |
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Is that like "Taste not, or drink deep the Peruvian String" ... ? |
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//talented and highly respected Mr. Scott// |
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Is that Ronny? Or Terry? Or Of The Antarctic? |
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You smart people are so confusing...
how much are these implants again? |
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They're free … nothing down, nothing to pay.
It's a straight swap, we put the implant in and
take the spare kidney out and sell it on eBay. |
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//You won't feel a thing.// |
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Well that's a total rip-off then... |
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Technically a rip-out, but close … |
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