Christmas Contraception Contraption

He sat up in bed and unboxed his beauty,
A powered-by-battery, vulcanized bootie.
Stroking each velvety soft latex limb
From its reservoir tip to its rotary rim,
He admired its fine figure, hardly obscene,
Lubricated and painted a lush evergreen.
Stretching and pulling, his fingers in a blur,
He quickly erected the pointy penile fir.
A switch twixt two balls, he turned on with a grin,
Making it tingle and jingle, shimmer and spin.
Under each tiny branch, faux-covered in snow,
Hid a led, blue blinking or with steady red glow.
Twinkling and turning like a lighthouse in fog,
It made him quite merry, his rubbered Yule log.
Then Santa said, “Ms. Claus, wake up and see,
My uncommonly comely condom Christmas tree!”