h a l f b a k e r yThis is what happens when one confuses "random" with "profound."
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Some cats are really stupid, they climb up a tall tree with no idea of how to climb down. Then it is a job for the Fire Brigade to come with big red fire engines and long ladders to rescue the stranded moggie.
My idea is for the fire brigades, or other local rescue service, to train cats to do
this job for them.
The trained cat will be skilled in both climbing trees and parachuting.
When the call comes everyone races to the scene with sirens wailing. When they arrive the rescue cat straps on his parachute and quickly climbs the tree.
Grasping the rescuee by the scruff of the neck the rescue cat leaps out into space whereupon the sudden change in apparent atmospheric pressure is detected as a sign of falling and the automatic parachute opens returning both our hero and the dumb cat safely to the ground.
Looks like [kbecker] entered this territory.....
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/dog_20cars
......already, although differently and in an annotation [normzone, Oct 04 2004]
If hummingbirds can't, can an African swallow?
http://www.style.org/unladenswallow/
Essential data. [MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 01 2007]
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Or, of course, simply do nothing, and the cat comes down when it's hungry. |
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a cat will only work when it feels like it AND when there's something in it for them. |
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just shoot them and they'll fall out on their own |
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ALL cats are stupid they take after their owners |
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[MS] Oooh, that burns!
Dog lover, eh?
They're not stupid, just self-centred.
Must agree with Dr.Curry et al on this one. |
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Perhaps a cross between, say, Saint Bernard and Maine Coon? |
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a government research centre has been doing tests on animals to see how naturaly inteligent they are by teaching them to play games etc. cats are one of the very few types of animal that refused to take part in the tests |
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Three firemen are required to remove a cat from a tree - one to take the elderly owner inside for a cup of tea, two to operate the fire hose and blow the annoying furball back to earth. Cats aren't daft enough to climb up and get stuck, they just don't _want_ to come down at the present moment... |
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//The trained cat will be skilled in both climbing trees and parachuting.// |
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Cats are difficult to train. I wonder if leopards would be any easier? |
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Squirrels are highly intelligent. You could train the squirrels to tempt the cat down...if you provided them with anti-cat body armour. |
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It was going fine until
//the rescue cat straps on his parachute//
How? |
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The fact is, MOST cats can come down on their own. That's why there aren't trees full of dead cats all over the place. |
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Hey, has anyone else seen those cat ladders that people with balconies (and cats natch) have. They're just a long pole with little rungs about 6 inches apart all the way up (or down, depending). An extendable version of this could be elongated to the required height, propped up against the tree at an angle and just left there until the cat gets the idea. Surely much cheaper than calling firemen out. |
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Trained bees might work faster. |
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Or 100 trained hummingbirds - they could pick up the cat in their beaks. |
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//Or 100 trained hummingbirds//
Unlikely. A ruby-throated humming
bird (or hummingbird - I prefer the
former) weighs about 4g, and can
double its weight prior to migration.
So, let's assume that it can fly with an
all-up weight of, say, 16g (ie, it has a
2:1 safety factor even when carrying 4g
of fat), giving it a lifting capacity of 12g
tops. |
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A cat weighs maybe 4kg, depending on
breed, age and fitness. So, we are
looking realistically at a little over 333
humming birds to lower one cat to the
ground. |
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But it gets worse. There is no way that
?333 humming birds can fit around an
unmodified cat without overlapping,
and humming birds do not overlap well.
So, you are going to need some kind of
harness system. This can only add to
the problems inherent in this scheme. |
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you go, [max]. can we have that figure in african swallows? |
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But then the cat that's "stuck" in the tree eats the birds so it doesn't become hungry, so it stays up in the tree even longer, so we send up more rescue birds... |
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What's wrong with this picture? |
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I vote for the fire hose solution. |
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The phrase "unmodified cat" [in MB's anno] sounds ominous. |
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[custard] //can we have that figure in
african swallows?// My pleasure. Most of
the background information can be found
(see link), at least for the European
swallow. The key point to grasp here is
that the swallow has a Strouhal number of
somewhere between 0.2 and 0.4. I'm sure
I don't need to labour the point further. |
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//Cats are difficult to train. I wonder if leopards would be any easier?// |
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Mmmm, nice tasty pussy cat. |
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How about a trained python? |
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Or, you shoot the cat with a jam gun and then release a load of ants to carry the bejammed cat down the tree. |
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Or, you fire a slice of buttered toast at the cat and ... |
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Baked. At least I assume that's what Feline Rescue (here in Minneapolis) does. |
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I have a 12-guage ..... >:-> |
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Because cats will get down when they are good and ready, I decided to bun this one because if you think that a cat fight is good, wait until you see a cat fight in a tree. |
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A chainsaw will also work. |
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