h a l f b a k e r yProfessional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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WHEREAS 8th had a deep and abiding hatred for all things feline, and
WHEREAS 8th had a troubling fetish for weapons and anything that might
explode or cause grievous bodily harm, and
WHEREAS contrary to popular opinion, 8th may very well have been called back to his home planet and I want to be
on his good side if he comes back:
I propose modernizing the long abandoned Cat o' Nine Tails, which was used mainly to mete out justice on the high seas. The new Cat o' Nine Det-Cords would replace the Tails (usually consisting of leather straps or similarly flexible corded material) with Det-Cord. These would be handed out to soldiers who may possibly get into close quarters combat. The handle would have a two-way slide switch that, pushed one way, would cause the Det-Cord to immediately ignite upon sensing collision with an adversary; and pushed the other would apply a selectable time delay allowing it to be thrown like a hand grenade. Used either way, the individual cords may wrap around the target just prior to detonation. Keep in mind the "target" may also be an inanimate object.
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Could this be used to humanely extract kitten claws? |
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It'll be humane... more or less. |
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Resistance is futile. You will be exsanguinated! |
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