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He: Hiya Dimple Cheeks! Wanna try some of this new Maple Honey Smoothie?
She: Yeah, umm good stuff. Now, can you see what’s new with me?
He: You’re chewing some new, extra-big wad of gum?
She: No, these’re two rubber pumps I’m chompin’ on that’re part of the extra dimension to my appearance.
He:
Then that’s not a dribble of drool exiting the corner of your mouth?
She: No, silly. This is the shiny, transparent, air tube made to look like an attractive trickle. Look down lower…I want you to.
He: Wow, bouncing boobs! Hellooo nurse! Uh, how do you do that?
She: Neat huh? It’s a push-up-pull-down bra. Besides jug jogging, I can do the teeter totter move and I’m learning a 360 degree double whammy.
He: Kewel. So you just rhythmically chew on those rubber bulbs?
She: Right, they inflate and deflate air bladders in the bra where I usually have pads. Hey, don’t touch! I bought the model with hooter honkers, two different tones. Here give me a harmonious hug.
He: Wow, you are one romantic lady, and fine looking, too.
She: Ah thanks, Bumble Bear. Just wait’l next week when I’m also decked out in new cheeky, bounding-buns britches. I’ll be munchin’ mucho.
Pump-up bra
http://www.halfbake.../idea/Pump-up_20bra
similar stuff [FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Smart Breast
http://www.halfbake...idea/Smart_20Breast
also inflatable [FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Elaine Vassal's Face Bra
http://www.tvacres....thing_underwear.htm
... and other inventions from "Ally McBeal". First paragraph. (This show also featured remote control pump heels and a remote flush toilet.) [waugsqueke, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
[link]
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What?? Bouncing boobs don't come standard on newer models? |
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All the jiggle with only half the wiggle. You need a pressure relief valve so that accidental over-inflation won't knock someones eye out. After all, anything more than a mouthful is a waste. |
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If you fill it with a vacuum, will you float away? |
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I'm not sure I believe the part where he has to be invited to "Look down lower." |
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[FarmerJohn], do you work for IKEA? |
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Love the hooter honkers... |
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I think it would be more discreet if you put the pump bra between the legs instead. And it would give an added, um, kick to the jiggling. |
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[Picturing FJ's prototype popping due to low cabin pressure.] |
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<remembers once-only-for-a-dare-when-very-drunk visit to Club Extreme in Stockholm, whimpers, pulls paper bag over head> |
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<Inscrutable Oriental Master> "You have much to learn, Grashopper ....." </Inscrutable Oriental Master> |
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This is the HalfBakery. Suspension of disbelief is mandatory. |
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SAS - The Power to Know?
Scandinavian Airline System?
Society for Applied Spectroscopy?
Surfers Against Sewage? |
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Elaine, the secretary character on "Ally McBeal" had an invention very similar to this called the "Vi-Bra". She would have been an interesting halfbaker, actually (link). |
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[k_sra] The System ("marry me, fly free"). |
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Could you put the air bladders on
the feet leaving her mouth free
for, say, something like...looking
normal? Neato bra there. |
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//("marry me, fly free")// |
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I thought you were married! |
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(That's very honest of you, [shift].) |
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Yes, for 24 years, but my imaginary alter ego, the lonesome tiller of the earth and thrill-seeking steward of beef and boilers, took control of my fingers. |
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Attractive dribble? That's inventive. |
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Model for blondes would have shoulder pad-mounted inflator bulbs actuated by side-to-side head motion necessary when speaking. |
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Didn't I see this on Are You Being Served? |
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Not to worry, they'll ride up with wear. |
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