Booger Bakery

I received, for Christmas, some Bonkin' Booger Ball plushy toys, as a gag gift, that doubled as my main gift. This is a running joke between myself and Ms. Christ, since we heard that some scientist or other had recently discovered that nose picking among the lonely serves the purpose of diversifying their microbiome, which happens for the non lonely through spit and breath sharing. And the running joke was that it was just so "never fails" that life would reward loneliness with nose picking. It is just so circular and instructional about the way life works.

So the running joke is that lonely people like me can always look forward at the end of a hard day's work, instead of to a little ale and good cheer at the local happy hour, at least to a little boogers and ostracism at the local place where nobody else is, thank you nature.

And my new plushy toy Bonkin' Booger Balls are allowing me to give them and my own nose-picker-ness, a new freedom, a sense of identity, and to bring this former source of embarrassment around to the front of my parade and to feel more like a battle flag than an embarrassing thing.

So why not a Booger Bakery? Bread dough is pretty boogery already. A bakery that advertises baked boogers for lonely people might seem like a long shot for angel investment money, but it might just start a movement. Lonely people of the world unite! Bake your boogers. Play with them in our associated maker space where we have bread dough 3D printers.

Booger Bakery will actually bake or let you bake and play with real bread dough, but the theme and advertising will state that you are eating and playing with boogers. Pretty gross, but that's what invention is: outside strategies for diversifying your microbiome.