Boing Loo

There used to be baby bouncers which were hung onto door corners, but they stopped making them because they caused brain damage or something. Anyway, i envisage a toilet consisting of a well several tens of metres deep, at whose top is a baby-bouncer style device attached to bungees, and at whose bottom is a rather unsanitary pool of ordure. On feeling the urge to perform certain bodily functions, you hoist yourself into the contraption, which is crotchless. You then fall a great and scary distance before snapping back and pinging up into the air above the top. By the time you reach the bottom, the combination of bodily reflexes resulting from terror and the momentum the contents of your nethers have acquired removes them from your vicinity at speed. You can have another go on the way down later.

Beyond this is the communal version, where sixteen or twenty-five people climb into a grid of the things and hurtle together down the tunnel, proceeding to gain relief together at the bottom.

Of course, if you do it on the way up it will probably catch up with you. I'm not sure what to do about that bit.