h a l f b a k e r yBusiness Failure Incubator
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The US will start kidnapping doctors from small-country-
istan in
a bid to keep its hospitals staffed.
Tim Scott will announce his candidacy for President for
2023,
but then realize too late that he's declared for the wrong
year.
Boris Johnson will be revealed as Donald's schizophrentic
second
personality that happens when his hair falls down.
Lab scientists will create and observe Omicron duking it
out in a
Petri dish with Delta and choose sides. Personified,
muscle-
bound greek letters will serve as team mascots for the
Petri-
Bowl as it will come to be known. Guacamole sales will
skyrocket, but another variant found in the guacamole will
spell doom for us all.
Anheuser-Busch InBev SA/NV (BUD) (owns Corona Beer)
https://finance.yah...eAdjustedClose=true
Stock price over time [Voice, Dec 29 2021]
US alcohol sales over time
https://pubs.niaaa....vid-19/COVSALES.htm
[Voice, Feb 02 2022]
[link]
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The Biden administration will be sued by the Better Business
Bureau for pointlessly destroying their trademark |
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Meanwhile, Joe Manchin will slink away into a
private accounting practice. |
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AOC will advocate for radically expanding the Supreme Court
after their blatant refusal to consider an appeal of Newton's
Laws of Motion |
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Betty White will reveal herself to be the world's first
android when she mistakenly vocalizes her battery
status charge as 70% due to a hardwired function. |
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The James Webb Telescope will open up to see an
alien watching porn on its spaceship viewscreen as
its first image. Let's face it, long treks through space
are dull, even for faster-than-light aliens. |
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Hurricanes will now be named after porn stars and
viruses will be named after politicians. |
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Foods will need new categories like real
ingredients , partly real ingredients , more than
50% chemicals. This will help folks who must stand
in the grocery aisles reading all ingredients.(me) |
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I'm beginning to sympathise with what [xandram] said, mostly
because I've just reached the age when I have to bring my
reading glasses when I go shopping. |
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Canada will annex California. There will be much rejoicing. A new species of orange will satisfy 100% of the daily value of six different nutrients. The US Congress will announce a new concept: permanent copyright/trademark privileges, only available for companies with names starting in D. The Vatican will start selling indulgences again, but only for petty crimes. |
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[pert] and that too. Maybe food packing need
larger print or braille options! |
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//braille options//
Now that's clever, as the ingredients list wouldn't take up "valuable"
label space. (Although, my fingertips don't seem to be sensitive
enough to read Braille...) |
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Any idea how large Braille books are? |
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Actually no, I hadn’t until I looked it up! Thanks. |
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I predict that I will start posting ideas here again, because blissmiss emailed me and kindly asked me to come back. |
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[xenzag] please do! I miss you and your halfbaked
ideas! |
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//permanent copyright/trademark privileges, only available
for companies with names starting in D// |
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To compete with Delta, name changes create Damerican
Dairlines and Dunited... |
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The CDC, in their infinite wisdom, after realizing that the
next deadly C19 variant lines up with the letter T will
christen it
Trump. It will change its spots daily and prove to be the most
deadliest variant yet with no known defense. From
then on viewers will be even less certain they know what is
being said on the news. |
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of late I've been getting some [mfd] naming pushback, which
is why I have not posted this, but it's entirely obvious that new
variants should revert to origin and use famous beer brands. |
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[theircompetitor]; I saw a photo (late last year, IIRC) of a
supermarket beer shelf; empty, except for all the Corona brand.
Some people are really stupid. |
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Welcome to Planet Earth where thinking for one's elf is not
recommended and will soon be outlawed entirely. |
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Why, is Corona any better than Milwaukee's Best? |
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1. In no way did I speak nicely to xen. He/she was paid
handsomely to return. |
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2. I also paid myself to come back and stay. I can't leave now,
I'll stay till the bitter end. I'm not one to jump ship. |
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Rayford, Can we make it we toss those nasty political
twinners to some unsuspecting desert island? PLEASE |
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Make it an island that will be lost due to climate
change, and you've got a deal. |
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//Some people are really stupid// |
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While this may be true, those people are heavily outnumbered by
people who are distracted, angry, tired, scared, stressed,
despairing, etc., and who do stupid things for those reasons, but
are not really stupid in themselves; rather, they are us on a bad
day. |
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//a supermarket beer shelf; empty, except for all the Corona brand.// |
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This could either be the name becoming unfashionable or the stock clerk playing a prank. People being afraid of the brand is one of the least likely explanations. |
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//Canada will annex California. There will be much rejoicing.// |
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Are you implying that process hadn't already reached completion? I guess paperwork really is a bitch! |
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Obviously sending wave after wave of squatters was key in pulling off a bloodless coup, and here you thought those Canadian actors, writers, directors, musicians, hockey players et al were simply going there for the work? Sorry, our successful takeover comes as a direct result of all that innate Canadian politeness. |
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Canuck will come back for his annual drop-in visit, to add his
predictions for the blatantly idiotic year, soon to be called
2022, Amen. Thank you, Canuck, you have made my year. The
one that is just making its exit. Whhhhaaa hoooo. |
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Anunnaki return to claim what they feel is their possession. |
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Stockholm syndrome fire-drills render a majority of humanity susceptible to subjugation.
Individual possessions begin being annexed by the new 'state'.
People clue in and resistance becomes overwhelming leading to a new creative renaissance. |
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Wait... sorry, it's not 2024 yet. My bad. |
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Despite the slowly dawning realisation the whole Covid
thing & the dangers it poses have been blown out of all
proportion most people will continue to wander around
wearing masks simply because they're too embarrassed to
admit they were wrong & how silly they've been to succumb
to mass hysteria &
popular moral
panic so completely. |
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Governments everywhere rejoice in this embarrassed
silence of their populations as it lets them retain many of
the sweeping powers they granted themselves during the
height
of the hysteria, further largely pointless inoculations, self
isolation, mask wearing & social compliance will continue
to be pushed mostly due to bureaucratic inertia (they don't
like changing direction once they've got started, it requires
more effort & thought than they're happy with) but also in
part, by some, in
the vague hope the 'new normal' & thus the new powers
that stem from it may become permanent if
they can
be supported by this past the point of any imagined useful
utility just a little longer. |
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People will get tired of hearing talking points from
whiners. |
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In other news, someone needs to reboot Betty White. She
crashed during an update. |
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I predict Betty White will pass gracefully away, as she lived,
in 2021. And this will be bigger news than a deadly virus by
far. Yay, we ain't lost our sanity yet. |
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Psychologists will admit that stock (take other people's inventory) home or stock (foot and hand holds) Syndrome has been a Nordic character trait from the first day Vikings felt icicles on their testicles. |
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The sequestered will emerge from their cloisters and find that frustrated nomads have taken over so-called democratic spaces. |
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//Canuck will come back for his annual drop-in visit// |
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Thanks for noticing, blissmiss. Yer welcome! I'm nothing if not reliable. |
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Oh crap! With this untimely visit have I just blown my reputation all to aitch E double hockey sticks!?! What's a Canucklehead like me to do? |
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I guess I should apologize for the confusion, eh! Sorry. |
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Wait, was that too many apologies? I'm really sorry for being too apologetic, eh. |
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Ha, I get that all the time. "Shut the fuck up with all the I'm
sorries. PLease! It wasn't your damn fault. Stop that." |
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"ok, Canuck. Will do. So sorry sweetie, so sorry. Ooops
there I go again. Saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said I'm sorry
again, my friend....OH NO, NOT THAT AGAIN. OMG, I'M SO
SORRY. SHIT, I'LL NEVER EVER TELL YOU THAT I'M SORRY FOR
TELLING YOU ANYTHING EVER IN THE FUTURE" |
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IS THAT BETTER, SIR? PLEASE SAY IT'S BETTER. IF YOU DON'T
THEN I'LL ASSUME I DID SOMETHING WRONG AGAIN AND THIS
WILL START THIS SAME CRAP OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN PART 3.
OH sHIT. |
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If you two need a room I've got one... |
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I'm sorry you little cutey 2 fries. I'll give you a healthy dose of
apologies to make up for my bad behavior. hahahaha |
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