<Sales pitch>Ever wanted to have someone keeping an eye open for you? Well you can now! Introducing Big Buddy (points to Orwellian type agitprop picture with Big Brother, smiling and giving the thumbs up. For only $10 a month you can enjoy the Facebook/intelligence service crossover.
Can't remember
what you were doing in 96? Don't worry your Big Buddy does! Can't remember the name of that great restaurant you went to last month? Just sms to this number and we'll tell you where you went.
Also Watson turbot style type pop-up help. Found an old friend on Facebook? Doing chat? As you type it runs you and them through the database, for example
You> Hey, hi rog, ain't seen you for ages
Rog> yeah, me too...howcome we lost touch
As this point the BB popup writes "You broke up with your girlfriend and told her you thought she was cheating on you with Rog. In fact it was true - shows long distance shots of couple kissing."
Also the Facebook/Intelligence services can automatically upload your old photos (the ones they have of you), that stupid t-shirt, that hairdo you had back on that protest in xxxx.
Can't remember what you talking about in the bar last night? Don't worry BB has all the transcripts! Just fire up the i-Spy app on your iphone and there it is.
You're in the restaurant, you order.....you get an SMS message "You're having the calimari here? Are you nuts? That fishing ship lost power for two days, had to be towed into harbour, you think they kept the fridge on? your friend, BB"
And, a choice of subscriptions, CIA. FSB or that old lady across the street, she's usually better informed.
video fades to the sound of "suspicious minds"played by kazoo band
<end of sales pitch>