h a l f b a k e r yMagical moments of mediocrity.
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Ah, mucus. This is the time of yearwhen it accumulates in thenose, and one must snort it up or blow it out. At BUNGCO we were dissatisfied with nose blowing technology. The sinuses contain lots of mucus but are not in a line with the passage of air - only laterally connected. Blowing the nose must
extract mucus from these lateral sinuses via the Bernoulli effect - a strong stream of air creating lower pressure, such thatthe relatively higher pressure in the adjacent sinus ejects mucus. But the differential obtained relies only on the airstream one can generate with one's God given equipment. Feeble!
The Bernoulli Nose Blower generates a gentle jet of air. The output hose is held in the mouth. With practice, one can avoid being inflated like a balloon and route the airflow out through the nose. Then dial it up - and be amazed at the bounty your sinuses provide. Point the nose awayfromothers while using the BNB. For expert users, the BNB can be adapted for use with water - for even stronger vacuum!
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// With practice, one can avoid being inflated like a balloon and route the airflow out through the nose. // |
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While it would be simple enough to prevent the air being blown into the lungs by closing one's glottis, redirecting it away from one's oesohagus would be difficult. Intraoesophageal pressure is low - subatmospheric mostly but also dependant on lung volume and intrapleural pressure. I assume the BNB would be generating higher pressures than this?
Also, is the Bernoulli effect not a function of laminar flow? It's a fairly bendy route under the uvula then up and into the nasopharynx. Add to that corrugations created by the turbinates within the nasal passages themselves and this flow will probably resemble something more turbulent than laminar. I'd suggest helium to bring down that Reynolds number, but then you wouldn't want to be lumping a cylinder around every time the pollen count goes up.
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Same principle but a suction device? With re-enforced bits at the end to stop the nostrils collapsing, or one of those things Robbie Fowler used to wear. |
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Alternatively you could let the BNB inflate your stomach to enough pressure and a good burp directed through your nose... |
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One word...no two. Oucha and no. |
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I'll try anything at this point+. |
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actually, the reverse direction - water into the nose, out from the mouth - is a widespread treatment. Can be done at home: Pot with warm, salty water situated higher than head, suck till it flows, tube to nose, enjoy weirdest feeling. Apart from cleaning your sinuses, this will also fill them with salty water (has to be salty, otherwise bad for membranes), which transforms your head into one of those ball-mazes : A succession of special head-turns will empty the sinuses, one by one. (You never get them all, half a day later, some random motion will let water gush out of your nose. fun effect.) |
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//tube to nose, enjoy weirdest feeling//
<Arthur Dent mode> This is obviously some strange usage of the word "enjoy" I was previously unaware of </adm> [+] |
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There are bones in the nasal cavity which cause turbulence. This enables the mucosa to capture dust and microbes. For this to work, you'd have to bypass those. That could be done by removing the nose, or by sticking the tube up the nasopharynx. The former might be unpopular for some reason and the latter would trigger vomiting, so some kind of anti-emetic might be indicated. You seriously would also have to avoid the Eustachian tubes. Then there's the issue of sinus problems. Are you sure you wouldn't drive the mucus further into them? I'm almost certain the Valsalva Manœuvre does that.
There's always neti, you know. |
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Or you could just take a pinch of snuff, and sneeze violently. |
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One could capture and recycle the helium for the next pass. There would need to be some sort of screen, of course. |
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