Electric nose cheese filter

Whilst wondering why I can smell cheese I thought probably it's that cheese, like any other substance, if friable (unlike Glaswegian pizza which really shouldn't be deep-fryable) and so likely to crumble at the surfaces/edges and then very little bits will go up my nose...

Now, if I happen to be walking through the supermarket and they have a promotion on cheese, and are waving bits of it about, they are putting small pieces of cheese up my nose, which is at best unhygienic, or is some kind of littering.

I mean, if they sneaked into your room at night while you were sleeping and put cheese up your nose, you'd call the police.

Anyway. I'm suggesting some kind of nose filter to cut out this kind of malarkey. The most successful might be two fine mesh filters, one on top of the other, with a small piezoelectric crystal that push one of them slightly out of alignment, so it reduces the effective gap size in the filter and reduces my cheese/nose contamination (I want to put footprint in here, but it's too many body parts) to something more acceptable...

Take that, you cheesemongers...