Bed Ventilation Chimney

Winter is a strange time of year that seems to make me hot. This is, I think, due to some warping of reality. During the summer months, violence is threatened if 69F* or higher is achieved. Clothing during this period is of the short and light variety, and even then, frequent consumption of cold drinks is advised.

During winter months, 72F, a temperature that would cause spontaneous furniture fires in summer, becomes the new minimum. This is combined with lots of thick woolen garments, a much thicker duvet is brought out of storage, supplementary heaters and flannel are spread about the sleeping area. In these circumstances, I can't fully understand how I'm alive.

To the solution. The typical duvet or comforter is an insulating barrier with a pleasing heft. To improve thermal management, I have taken inspiration from the mining industry**.

In deep mines, ventilation may be driven by heat directly. One old trick involves having two vertical shafts connected to distant points of the horizontal network. Lighting a fire at the bottom of one shaft causes hot air to rise straight up the shaft to the surface, while air is drawn down the distant shaft, through the network to the base of the fire. With a few crude doors, airflow can be regulated and directed.

To achieve the same effect, I propose using structural quilting to create a sort of conical chimney in the duvet that sits at say, mid stomach. Excess heat will rise up the quilted chimney to be replaced by slightly cooler air. Just like in mines, this can be regulated by modulating the intake valving. In this case, the foot/arm-operated gaps in the duvet's peripheral seal. Provided the chimney doesn't collapse under the weight of the inevitable cat, this should lead to more comfortable snoozing.

*changing anything including the units is risky business. **Miners are forbidden from touching the thermostat, and are frequently warned about noxious gas emissions.