h a l f b a k e r ySuperficial Intelligence
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Kids, often younger ones, do alot of talking. They ask questions. They obviously do not grasp concepts such as death, spoilers or even implied events. They get scared. And they are loud.
This would be bareable most of the time, but not inside a cinema! You usually sit down, shut up and enjoy the show.
But listening to some kid bawl his eyes out when the T-Rexes or alien insect rips the guy in half, or constantly ask "What is mojo?" can be downright annoying! Not just at the kids, but also at the parents who thought that "Saving Private Ryan" or "American Pie" is great kid's entertainment!
Therefore, for certain movies, young kids should be completely banned, or at the very least, parents be THOROUGHLY advised on whether to bring in their kids or not.
Of course this rule would not apply for children's movies.
And finally: bringing babies to the movies? Not allowed. Period.
Theater sniper
http://www.halfbake...ea/Theater_20sniper
Sniper perch located by projector. Yup, that's what all those holes are for. [thumbwax, Sep 26 2000]
Bidirectional theaters
http://www.halfbake...ectional_20theaters
Aboooooouuuut face! [hello_c, Sep 26 2000]
Baby Silencers
Baby_20silencers
Or you could... [jaksplat, Jan 22 2005]
[link]
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I don't know how prevalent they are, but
there are at least 3 movie theatres in
Portland, OR that serve beer. |
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It may even make Battlefield Earth bearable... on second thoughts, no. |
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Just in case...
see the link |
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Another alternative would be to shove all the kids right in front, where you pretty much have to look straight up to see anything. They're kids, they won't mind anyway. |
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Well Mr Killboy, why stop there? While you're at it why not just have all kids under 10 shot? Or smother them at birth? Or may be make having kids illegal?
Alternatively, we could have you shot, and any on with a family could get on with their lives in peace and not have to deal with anti-children fascist like yourself.
Or am I just taking you too seriously?
Or are you taking me to seriously?
Who can tell.................. |
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I actually find children's questions more intelligent, and therefore less irritating, than the comments of such adults as yawp during movies. |
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I do disapprove of parents taking the kids off to movies that will only scare and confuse them, though. |
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I don't like children. They smell bad and they are loud and annoying and i agree with everything mrkillboy said. if you have kids, just rent a movie or something, they're kids they won't care. and also, i think PG-13 should not let kids in under 10 whether they are with a parent or not. If something is rated PG-13 there is something going on that they will ask about like 8000 times or, like in Jurassic Park, that they will cry over. And goff, maybe your sarcastic idea at killing children is a bit too far. We should just lock them in cages for the first 8 years or so. Seriously. |
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How about special showings of certain films (such as Jurassic Park or Planet of the Apes) which would be open for kids and adults and other showings which would be only for adults? During the times in-between the floors could be cleaned and the trash removed. I realize, though, that such a solution would not do anything about the adults who misbehave and spill food. |
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One of my local cineams has a weekly "Forget the Babysitter" session. It's a late morning or early afternoon session on a slow day that is well advertised as grown-up films intended for mothers with babies in tow. Everyone attending the session is expecting some baby noises but it's better than going stir-crazy stuck at home with junior. That is an idea worthy of a chocolate-filled croissant and maybe a cup of excellent coffee with it. |
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No no no. Baked: kids are already banned from the majority of films that are rated 15 or over. Mean: how much did you enjoy being taken to a film when you were little? |
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Keep kids out of everywhere. I was recently in one of this country's less publically funded provinces' libraries. The kids there must have never been taught library etiquette - and talk about stupid... |
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