h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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The large rim of this sombrero would contain titanium
hoops knit
together with kevlar thread. Upon seeing a bear the
user
would unclip the hoops , allow them to fall about him
forming a cage, and then use a drawstring to close and
lock the bottom.
The hoops could absorb energy from batting,
would be
too large and unwieldy for the bear to get his mouth
around, and would be too strong for the bear to open.
Beer sombrero
http://little-blvck...om/post/55197982213
[normzone, Apr 16 2014]
Anti-bear airbed
Anti-bear_20airbed
Refuse all substitutes. [8th of 7, Apr 16 2014]
Anti-bear Suit
http://www.nfb.ca/film/project_grizzly/
Project Grizzly, a documentary about Troy Hurtubise's lifelong work on making a bear-proof suit [Frankx, Sep 23 2019]
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Annotation:
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Even with the lightest tempered titanium I cannot envision
this weighing less than thirty pounds, but a thirty pound
hat is a paltry annoyance in comparison to an afternoon's
mauling. Bears like to play with their food. |
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This would be good for an ad. After flailing away fruitlessly at the encaged one, the bear stumps off in a huff and glares at the sombrero clad hiker. Hiker smiles smugly. Clouds gather and thunder rumbles. Hiker looks up apprehensively. Bear grunts smugly. |
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I have a feeling that the bear would end up flattening the entire arrangement with you in it. Can you post a video on youtube showing the results? I actually like this idea a lot. Totally halfbaked, and a natural double croissant from me. [+ +] (I think I'm one of the few who get to award double croissants) |
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You might be able to roll downhill faster than a bear can run. |
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I have to point out that I have never encountered
anyone who has survived a bear attack by means of
such a device. |
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A better solution, shirley, is to always be at places
where bears are not. There are many such places,
many of them quite agreeable. |
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Indeed. We commend to your attention the
latest BorgCo anti-bear product, which so far
has a 100% success rate. |
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An ingenious solution, but totally impractical - no
civilized man can sleep on an airbed. |
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Didn't you mean //no civilized man can sleep in Australia//? |
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Since there are no civilised humans in
Australia, what you say is literally correct,
[poc]. |
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Baiting Unabubba again huh? |
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Always ... him, and the kangaroo he rode in on ... |
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Would a Challenger II main battle tank be
considered bear proof? Only, on my forthcoming
camping trip I'd prefer to be prepared. I was
shopping for a vehicle, and it seems to tick all the
boxes, I only assume that the locals are buying
pickup trucks and carrying separate small guns out
of some misguided attempt at tradition. Is a
120mm a good deer hunting/bear defense gun? Will
I still need to put my food in a tree? Will I need a
separate camping stove? Or could I slum it using a
combination of the kettle/exhaust manifold? |
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By all means get the Challenger, but don't take it camping. |
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For that you want a pickup or a jeep, doesn't need crazy
huge tires if you drive sanely, tie your food up in a tree or
take it into the tent with you at night. Piss in a few places
around your campsite, not too close, and don't spill any
food, pour out any grease, or leave any dishes or packaging
out. If you do all that and the bears still come snuffling
around, shout at them and shine your flashlight. Any bear
that
doesn't head for the hills when you do that will shit
itself if you fire a gun into the ground. I recommend a .38
in
the east, .44mag in grizzly country. Go with a revolver
because it's ready to fire in a heartbeat and if the bear
really is determined to kill you (an exceedingly rare
scenario) you've still got five more shots to put the bear
down. Don't miss with the first four. |
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If you do all that and still have trouble with bears, try
camping in Africa. Lions are pussies compared to bears. |
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Wait...does that imply sobriety or somber ? |
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A real anti-Bear suit [link]. Troy Hurtubise spent a large part of his life trying to build and test one. The Film Board of Canada made a documentary (directed by Peter Lynch). |
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This anti-bear sombrero is great in theory, but I don't think
you'll get a wild bear to wear one. |
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