h a l f b a k e r yThis would work fine, except in terms of success.
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This simple straw sombrero, decorated with a fetching ribbon, is
located in Ireland. As long as you are underneath it, you will be
almost completely protected from bear attacks.
Werner Herzog’s film Grizzly Man
https://www.youtube...watch?v=gWycuaWJFCM
It’s a truly thought-provoking film. And disturbing. A guy who’s passionate about protecting grizzlies and their environment, ultimately gets eaten. [Frankx, Sep 23 2019]
[link]
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Hmmm ... we sense the subtle mendacity of the Intercalary behind this idea. |
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Would you be good enough to post the full list of terms, conditions and especially exclusions for us to peruse before purchasing ? |
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Presumably there is a "Money back if wholly or partiallly eaten" guarantee ? |
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//before purchasing// No, it's not available to purchase -
it's
a fixed installation. If it were mobile, it might end up in
Alaska or somewhere, and obviously that would compromise
its function. As a bonus, its protection extends for a radius
of
at least 5 miles from the sombrero itself (excluding zoos;
also,
warranty is void if you bring your own bear). |
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//Money back if wholly or partiallly eaten// Fair enough,
but the straw is quite chewy and I think the ribbon is nylon,
so I wouldn't try it myself. |
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//bring your own bear//
My friend is planning to bring his “Ill-conceived
wild bear circus” to Ireland shortly, it’s sure to be
a real hit. He understands that, so long as the
customers are equipped with your hats (and
haven’t brought their bears) they will be perfectly
safe. Hence he is planning no other safety
measures. Apart from ensuring that none of them
have brought their own bears. |
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Can you confirm that your public liability insurance
covers this arrangement? |
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No bears will be harmed in the provision of this
service. |
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//public liability insurance// The public is liable in all
circumstances. Technically, a wild bear circus counts as a
zoo, for the period of time in which it is present. (The same
applies to zoos, of course.) |
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Ohh, but the customers are *sure to come in
disguise*. Picnic, not Zoo. |
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On the subject of teddy bears - Werner Herzog film
[link]. |
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