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Anti-personel Fighting Octopus

 Arggh!
  (+11, -6)
(+11, -6) 		  [vote for,
against]

These trusty octi hang around friedly subs, attacking any enemy divers and killing them.

They distinguish betwwen friendlies and enemies by their sense of smell; the friendly divers have a special diving weight that emits a substance easily detectable by the octi.

Also, we could use them for search and rescue in peacetime.

—DesertFox, Oct 14 2004

Reasons to travel by octopus. http://www.flickr.c.../184331755/sizes/l/
+ Downsides: Octopus pit stops: coffee, coffee, coffee, swimming... [jutta, Mar 26 2008]

Actual_20chameleon_20suit [not_morrison_rm, Aug 30 2011]

[link]






       You really are having a sub-themed-week! I like the sound of the idea, but don't think it's entirely practical. Training marine creatures to fight out battles IS an interesting idea, and I'm sure there was something to do with the US Navy using Dolphins to help detect mines. However, you miss the vital detail; HOW would you train an octopus to do a task it might be otherwise disinclined to perform?
—zen_tom, Oct 14 2004
   

       I thought they trained Navy personell to use submarines for exactly this purpose.
—Letsbuildafort, Oct 14 2004
   

       Captain Fred Woodward(Joe) hit on the bright idea of training seals to hunt German submarines.Some were got, and the fun started. But the brightest, 'Billikin', disappeared in the Channel on a training run. Notices were sent out offering a big reward for his capture. He would answer to his name. For some time afterwards, people could be heard on the Sussex coast calling out his name Billikin. Billikin never returned.
—skinflaps, Oct 15 2004
   

       Probably slapped around by its prehensile tentacles.
—skinflaps, Oct 15 2004
   

       Arggh! Silly but funny. +
—vigilante, Oct 15 2004
   

       Horse shit. [-]
—etherman, Oct 15 2004
   

       Nice idea... but I thought Octopuses didn't have any nueral structure? Or something to that matter... I forgot...
—EvilPickels, Oct 15 2004
   

       Disney war report: 15 injured as yellow submarine is attacked entering octopus' garden at 20,000 leagues under the sea.
—benfrost, Oct 16 2004
   

       The title made me think of people carrying around an octopus in a small bowl to throw at a potential attacker. I like the idea of a mugger with one wrapped around his face.   

       I think the real virtue to your idea though is the camoflage properties inherent in these creatures.
—MrDaliLlama, Oct 16 2004
   

       I'm pretty sure a submarine launched torpedo would blow an enemy octopus into calamari. But that's okay, because the military is now developing the stealth octopus for these sort of missions.
—croissantz, Mar 24 2007
   

       In the future, the US navy will field a fleet entirely made up of friendly sea creatures. Tremble as our battle crabs and destroyer starfishes creep up in a deadly tide towards your shores!   

       I like this idea. Pure whimsy.
—qt75rx1, Mar 26 2008
   

       My research has led me to determine that octopi can be killed if you bite them between the eyes.
—ye_river_xiv, Aug 29 2011
   

       If q then ((if p then q) and (if not-p then q))   

       Let q = "Octopodes can be killed."   

       Therefore,   

       Octopodes can be killed if you bite them between the eyes QED.   

       (and also if you don't)
—mouseposture, Aug 29 2011
   

       Simply dispelled by attaching copper to all potential targets.
—AbsintheWithoutLeave, Aug 30 2011
   

       //is the camoflage properties inherent in these creatures//   

       I think this might suffer the same problem as the stealth chameleon, as you can only find the not very good ones, as you could see them..   

       Even as we speak a legion of rather more talented stealth [insert group noun for octopus of your choice] are taking over the world via the water-cooler network..
—not_morrison_rm, Aug 30 2011
   

       Actually, the Royal Navy had a research programme that ran from 1941 to 1943, using common octopi to locate and disable navigation systems on enemy submarines. Bizarrely enough, the former PhD. student of the chief marine biologist (Prof. Martin Wells) was German, and had returned to Germany in 1938. He anticipated this development, and initiated a successful German project to counteract the British initiative.   

       The British professor had (along with his student) trained octopi using two different sound frequencies (associated with reward and punishment) and the student, reasoning that the professor would use the same method to train the anti-submarine octopi, devised a simple sound generator which would have driven the trained octopuses nuts.   

       No German submarines were ever adversely affected by octopi, but it was never established whether this was because the British initiative had failed, or because the German countermeasures were effective.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 02 2011
   

       That comes as no surprise to any obsessive rereader of _Gravity's Rainbow_
—mouseposture, Sep 02 2011
   
      
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